oh hi.

All right.  I'll be honest.  Many times when I make promises to myself, I berate myself until I can't keep my own promises.  I made a promise to keep writing this blog.  I want to write this blog.  I enjoy writing this blog.  And I love the unexpected connections I've made with some of you (although with my vacancy, I have lost touch as well). But here, I have sometimes had to falsify my feelings in order to keep this blog positive and optimistic - something I thought was important.  So, when I was on the brink and simply could not be positive or optimistic, I had nothing.  Or, very little to say.  No one likes a debbie-downer, right.  I felt as if I would be a disappointment to myself and to you if I spilled my icky self-deprecating guts all over this blog.  But frankly, I'm just not all sunshiny and blossomy like that.  I'm a real girl, with real feelings and when I have reached out here, you all have only given me kindness.  Having left this blog alone for so long, I have become a disappointment to me.  So, having said that, I'm back, ready to be honest (if moody), and I really want to keep in touch this time.  

That last post way back in October was a subtle announcement that I finally, after many long painful days, over two and a half years in fact, I got a new job.  But I didn't want to jinx it and I felt very uncertain.  It was a hard transition.  While many people slack off on those last two weeks of a job, I worked harder than ever because I didn't want to be a disappointment. To who, I'm not sure, but maybe me.  A last hoorah of hard work to prove I did something good.  Then I worked really hard to try to learn this new job and got a little bit burnt out sitting in front of a computer screen.  And then I hurt my back.  And then it was winter and the chaos of xmas, and then it was really winter.  And then, and then something big happened.  Something I wasn't sure I could ever do.   

With a lot of love and support, my husband and I bought a house!  Isn't it lovely!  Here's the first picture I'm going to share with you to really drive up the excitement:

our official half bath.  don't you just love that purple privacy curtain? 

And then real chaos ensued.  G and I talked and argued dreams and more dreams and then we got the keys.  And the dreaming stopped and we had to start working.  Hard hard working.  While we received the keys to our new lovely abode on February 28th, we have yet to move in.  Soon.  But not yet.  Actually, we have to be out of the rental house we currently live in on April 15th so... really soon.  As of today, however, we cannot walk on the living room floor because of a long arduous process of stripping and refinishing the nearly destroyed hardwoods in the living area of the main floor (but those details are for another time).  Tonight my husband, now with a head cold (or perhaps just a horrifying amount of sawdust in his sinuses), will layer the last coat of polyurethane on the floor.  Maybe by Sunday we can put some furniture on it.

I am really proud of the hard work my husband and I have done on this house so far, even though we have a long way to go.  And I really want to share some of our chaos with you.  So that is my new plan. What started as a wedding blog, and became and I-don't-know-what blog, is becoming a renovating nightmare blog.  I think it all still fits with my silly title of broken*saucer.  So, what do you think?