Thursday, June 18, 2009

maybe

you noticed, maybe you didn't. I recently took the budget off of my blog. My first budget was $8k. ha. We mulled over the guest list, we decided we actually wanted some people to show up. We wanted a wedding INSIDE our city limits. okaaaaay. 10k. Do you want me to count the rings? How about the fact that I bought not one, but two wedding dresses. Do I add in both of those? What about my monthly facials, I started them before I got engaged, but if you think I'm not going to continue them right up until... and the skin care products. How 'bout my gym membership? And the fact that when we couldn't send our save-the-dates as postcards, I used half glassine envelopes that I had for 9 years, and half that G threw out the receipt for, because I was stressing about spending more money on them than I intended. the boy seems to believe that a lot of the little things, like stamps and envelopes early on don't really count because they are small expenditures that can be absorbed into the beer and movie budget. No we haven't seen a lot of theater movies lately, and G started drinking Miller high life instead of microbrews. no big.

So, lets say I do make it under 10k. What does it mean to you? How does it help you budget your wedding? Unlike some bloggers, I don't have best friends who are wedding planners that get industry discounts. I don't have best friends that do letterpress. I don't have best friends that do catering. I don't have a family member with the most gorgeous, large backyard I've ever seen. If my backyard were triple the size, I would be having it in my own backyard.

I just read this TenThousandOnly post. She went over the 10k and she's not sure she wants to share her final cost. Many are up-in-arms about this. The thing is, I'm just under three months out and I'm realizing there are compromises and times when it is so much better to spend a little extra money instead of sobbing over a photographer who flakes or wilted handmade bouteniers.

We all make choices based on who we are and what we want. The first bridal magazine that I bought was Seattle Bride. Why? because it had a venue resource guide in the back that gives price guides including catering demands. Now if someone would just do that for area bridal gown retailers, photographers, florists, hair and make-up salons, invitation designers and printers, and whatever else I'm not thinking of...

If we could just help each other compile a list of cost ranges so we wouldn't all have to waste so much time doing the kinds of research that we hate. so we wouldn't get duped into putting on 10k dresses, and getting ridiculous quotes for "bridal hair". I've heard $75 for a bridal bouquet and I've heard $250. I'm making my own (supposedly) so that won't help you if you want to pay for one.

the point: I don't need or want your wedding total. I want how to make mine cost less, and still get what I want.

Then maybe we could relax a little and spend more time reading our blogs and adoring pretty things which is all we really want to do anyway.

something pretty:

9 comments :

  1. I soooo hear you! I just started planning my wedding and I'm so confused! I just want a list with approximate prices for everything I want to buy... cause I have no idea how much things cost or how to even come up with a budget! You'd think with all the wedding info out there this wouldn't be that hard...

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  2. Oh I agree. And we do need to respect that sometimes spending money to stay sane is the right decision. As we get closer, there have been a few times lately when we've just been like, "fuck it, that sounds fine, buy it" rather than shopping around, and we do not feel guilty--I will pay more to stay sane. So the whole business of sticking to a number is not always the right decision for everyone...

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  3. Oh I hear you friend. I wish I had a backyard. And a florist in my back pocket, and a fancy dress designer buddy, and etc. etc. etc. But alas...I don't. Virtually connectionless. BUT - it's kindof a fun hunt, don't you think? Searching for deals...digging for creative options...identifying the concepts that are uber important to us. I dunno. It sucks that everything is expensive and we aren't Richy Rich...we aren't even Richy Rich's butler, but we have to stay sane and remember to HAVE FUN with this planning process because if we don't we'll become a bunch of crazies. :-)

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  4. Well said. I've been thinking of tossing some numbers on my blog for that very reason. When I started wedding planning, I had no idea how much things cost, and signed up for some big ticket items - space, catering - without thinking about how many other things there were to budget for. I didn't know how many non-obvious things existed that are both important and costly (no, not aisle runners, but, for example, babysitters, since most of my friends have toddlers.) We've gone over what we planned on a lot of stuff just to avoid 'sweating the small stuff'... but before you know it, the budget's doubled! Ultimately, whatever the number is, it's just a number that only needs to suit the person paying the bills. There's no more reason to fetishize a $10K wedding than a Platinum wedding.

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  5. It's all good girlfriend! I totally feel you on the "don't have any wedding connections" thing but I think we're also soo lucky to have so many resources on the webs these days. Don't sweat the numbers, it's about the two of you and if you're ok with spending $25 or $250 on your bouquet then that's all that matters. I totally understand Annie's pain about just trying to get ballpark figures, and I'm finding it particularly difficult in a different country!

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  6. Totally, totally hear you.

    Some of those TenThousandOnly comments were fareeeaky - some people actually seem to feel betrayed that she has gone over the initial budget!!

    I'm all for keeping it cheap, but not at the cost of my sanity - if it goes over, it goes over you know?

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  7. Budgets are really tricky to discuss -- people who would never dream of being mean about your dress or your makeup in public feel free to get up on a major high horse when the subject is your money and how you spend it.

    I haven't said anything about my budget on my blog, and I'm not going to. I'm passing along tips in areas where I feel like I saved money (the J. Crew bridesmaid's dress bought on clearance, going with multiple smaller cakes instead of 1 giant one, self-printed menu cards, etc.), but I just don't see what anyone could possibly get out of me publishing what we spent in total.

    And ITA about spending a bit of extra money to avoid a lot of stress. Our time and our sanity is valuable too!

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  8. Could not agree more. I wish I could add something as insightful as the rest of you. But it has all been said.

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  9. People can get upset that 10,000 only didn't post her budget, but really...in the end...it's no one's business!! People are so wierd

    I'm with you, I don't have these friends that can do it all for my wedding everyone seems to have.

    My budget is $7500, but I live in the midwest and...that's just what my parents are giving us. We've alreay spent over a thousand ourselves, and we still have 4 months to go. Who cares if you blew the budget? The important thing is you started somewhere reasonable, you just found out there were things that were important to you. It's not like you are $50k over budget. Go for it!

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