Sunday, July 31, 2011

photo no. 15 - thinking of you

I suppose this is too late.  Just like every time I want to write a thank you note, or at thinking of you note, or a note.  I seem to be moving through space one moment at a time lately, driven only by what seems most important at the moment:  sleep, work, eat, work, gym, home, dinner, laundry?, water flowers? (stare at weed garden), do whatever it is that G has in mind for the weekend (not much), go for a walk, dig in weed garden, sigh heavily, drink, sleep, work, eat, work, gym, home, dinner, etc.  When simply compelled by actions, I have little motivation for thoughtful things, often doing things out of necessity, manufactured or true.  There are the obvious choices, work, eat, and sleep.  And then the less obvious, gym (I have some one pressing me to go with her, so that helps), and walks with G (this has become one of my favorite summer past times.  Must I water the plants?  What was the point of planting them if you're just going to kill them - thus, water the plants.  Laundry? I must have more clean underwear somewhere deep in the drawer...

Of course until about three days ago, much of this simple action compelled life has been a side effect of my allergies which for all of July have left me muddled with or without medication.  The Claritin makes me feel better but a bit low on energy and surprisingly bitchy and without... well sneezy, headachey and all around a pleasure.  My fabulous sis-in-law told me that it helps to drink camomille tea all day and I started and it helped a lot, which is photo no. 15.  Late but here.  The muddling in my head makes me feel quite bored with my own words, tired of myself, and not terribly interested in spreading my good cheer.  A friend of mine once told me that when I get a bit depressed I pull away from everyone.  Isn't that what everyone does?  

Well anyway.  When I can't please myself, I usually make a vague stab at pleasing others and then usually feel I have failed.  Like dinner.  I can never make dinner good enough for me, so it can't possibly be good enough for G.  I guess because this is quintessentially me, I can't stop thinking about how to please you with my blog.  And I'm supposed to be following the rules of good blogger which I believe goes something like: never post other people's pictures, and your own should be good (so far, fail); be honest, but not too self-deprecating and definitely funny (honest - yes but withholding; funnily self-deprecating - eh,); and interesting (eh); with a good headline that makes you want to read me (epic fail); be a pretty blog (eh.); and no. 1 - post every day ( I think we all know how badly I have failed with this one).

However, there are plenty of successful (maybe not great, but) blogs that don't follow all of these rules (and post every week at the bare minimum), but they still maintain a singular focus.  I don't seem to have that either.

I thought maybe I would focus on pictures of my house, but the lack of work on my house, with the exception of the ongoing and fruitless task of pulling weeds, I don't entirely know what to show you.  G pulled out one side of our fence on Friday and dug holes for new posts but, I don't know how pretty I can make a picture of wood and chicken wire rubble look with my iphone.  It's also hard to take pictures of your own cooking while cooking.  Go figure.  And now that I'm writing this, I feel like this is an excuse-filled apology, just like an overdue thank you note.

So instead, I pose this question to you:  What do you want to read/see when you come here?

A.  random ass photos I take with my iphone.
B.  random ass words I feel like spewing once a week.  most likely unedited (breaking the other rule where you are supposed to edit your posts 24 hours after you write them before posting).
C.  links to my obsession with pinterest page where I have now moved all of my excited stolen internet images about what I want for the house in dreams or possibilities.
D.  words I'm not sure I want to share with myself let alone the interwebs, like say, I ate a weird combination of things yesterday, so today I am nursing my diarrea with miso stock and immodium.
F.  stop posting, you're wasting your time, we stopped reading you after you failed at posting wedding pictures.  plus, your wedding blog pretty much sucked too.
G.  other.

Please fill my email inbox with something other than solicited junk mail (yes it's my fault, I bought things at jcrew so now I get email from them, and west elm, and pottery barn, crate and barrel, sephora, etc.)

love,
sera

5 comments :

  1. My philosphy on blogs is it's your blog, you post what you want! Once my son was born, my blog went from pretty little things to straight up personal scrapbook. I lost a lot of readers since the wedding, but my blog is for me, not them. And really, who wants to read 53 posts in a row about a kid they don't know, so I totally understand. Unless you are trying to make money - post whatever you want- we'll read. I like ugly pictures too! I read other blogs as little doorways into their lives, the more personal, the more I like it. Okay, sorry I wrote a book.

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  2. There are some blog-voices I always enjoy, regardless of the topic or photo source. I appreciate your sense of style and humor and am always delighted with a new post...and I do love your random-ass photos.

    Don't let your blog (or your garden or house or menu or self-imposed expectations or readers) beat you up. They are not the boss of you. Do what makes you happy. Do a few things that don't make you happy that you have to do anyway. Make a few mistakes. Enjoy some success. It's all good.

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  3. I choose H. Everything but F.

    Also, what happened to E? :)

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  4. Mollie, it was your last comment on that spurred me on to write this post in the first place. thanks for the love.

    you too, eclair.

    and, ha ha! as much as I seem to like to number things, I occasionally forget letters when I'm numbering with them. that's what I get for not editing. ;P

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm late and slow. But more please. I like what you write.

    Slow and steady wins the race (hopefully!)

    ReplyDelete

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