broken*saucer

pop music

2012-01-22T09:37:00.000-08:00

I hadn't ever heard this song before I stumbled on it on dooce the other day. Every time I hear a new pop song I like, I think, I should go back to pop (like thinking you want to give an ex a second chance and then you see him at a coffee shop and, um, no. So over that, in fact, ew.). When I try to go back to mainstream pop, flip on the old radio and wade through commercials to get to, some crap I don't want to listen to in between some more Katy Perry, who I also, no longer want to listen to, because after hearing Firework the first time, I loved it, but after hearing it the 61st time, well, not so much. It takes 15 minutes of mainstream radio and suddenly I realize I'm at dinner with an ex. I've got to get out!

I've tried to dissect my thing with pop, and here is what I've come up with: I can't wade through the crap (90%) I hate to get to the good (10% (that's being generous isn't it)) stuff. I also, don't like pop ballads. That goes for stuff that gets remade on Glee too (Yes I watch Glee). But I do love the dance favorites that I love. Like Lady GaGa. I listen to a lot of Lady GaGa because, I don't know what else to listen to. But, now that I run at the gym to pretty much only Lady GaGa, I'm terribly close to getting bored. I've gone back to my old Gus Gus albums filled with skips because I actually uploaded them from cds(!) and Brazilian Girls.

Conclusion: I don't know what pop songs to listen to that I will actually like, and my impatience shows my grey hairs. I may not cool enough for music anymore. How disappointing.

What upbeat pop songs do you love to listen/work out to?

photo no. 19 - snow days, cookie failure

2012-01-20T12:37:00.000-08:00

icicles hanging from our bent gutter

This is day three home from work because it snowed. They said the rain would come on Thursday, that it would melt, but it didn't. It snowed harder. Today, the warmth came, and the snow is starting to melt, but so slowly, because it's only 34 degrees. Instead, I'm working from home. It's slow because I don't have everything I need and my home mac systems are not set up for some of the things I do on the windows system at work, but, I am working. I am checking my email as I type this. I am logging documents from photocopies of drawings. I am working.

I have also made dinner, taken a five mile walk in the snow with my G, which wore me out because walking in the snow is much harder than walking in not snow, and made my third batch of failed cookies.

cranberry oatmeal cookie fail

I think I have only made two successful batches of cookies in my life. Apricot thumbprint cookies and 7-layer bars. Whenever I try to make anything else, chocolate chip cookies are burned, oatmeal raisin are tasteless, peanut butter are crumbly, cranberry oatmeal (above) are cakey and blah. I won't even blame my cookie failures on the recipes, I'm sure I did something wrong, melted not softened the butter, too much dry ingredients, and possibly overprocessing the dough. (The burning incidents were all due to using a rental house oven that turned out to be 50 degrees too hot - go figure).

So here is what I need, someone send me a recipe for an unfussy, fail-safe cookie. I need help. I promise to make a batch, and post the results.

In the meantime, I'm going back to making apple crumble, plus I can eat it for breakfast with yogurt. I'll post an updated recipe as soon as I'm done making it.

quinoa oatmeal for the week

2012-01-16T06:27:00.000-08:00

Oatmeal is one of those breakfasts that I love, but never want to make because in my head it has the stigma of taking too long to cook and not really filling me up until lunch. The trick is to add some fat like butter, milk, and nuts, but somehow that strips away some of the healthy. Here is my healthier version and enough for a weeks worth of breakfasts. I make this on sunday and then dish it into containers for me to grab out of the fridge on the way to work. I just heat it up in the microwave when I get there.

Here is how I've made my oatmeal even healthier. Quinoa has more protein than oatmeal and it gives my oatmeal a little more texture. I usually have red quinoa on hand which would give this a nuttier flavor which in oatmeal, would be good, but below I made it with regular blond quinoa. I also added coconut oil instead of butter because in Heidi Swanson's Super Natural Cooking, she says "coconut oil is rich in lauric acid, which facilitates brain functions and boosts the immune system." Sounds like the perfect thing for a winter morning. I've also added flax seed meal, because it's filled with omega 3 fatty acids.

quinoa oatmeal for the week

This recipe is inspired by Mark Bittman's oatmeal recipe in How to Cook Everything Vegetarian and Heidi Swanson's Seven Way Steel Cut Oats in Super Natural Cooking.

Quinoa Oatmeal

1 cup oatmeal
1 cup quinoa (scrubbed)
2 cups water
dash of salt
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup flax seed meal

In a large saucepan, add the oatmeal, quinoa, and salt to the water and bring to a boil. Once boiling, turn down the heat to simmer, stir and cover with a lid. Stir occasionally. In 10-15 minutes, remove the lid and cook off the rest of the water, if any. Stir in the coconut oil and flax seed meal.

I top mine with dried cranberries, cherries, sliced almonds, and a chopped apple. And, organic natural brown sugar. I know, brown sugar is bad. I tried to use honey instead of brown sugar, but it just didn't taste as good. I'm working on it.

new years resolutions

2012-01-15T11:37:00.000-08:00

Last night at dinner with some friends, I was asked if I had any new years resolutions to which I answered, I don't know. I feel like what we understand new years resolutions to be is completely different to what they should be. These tend to be lofty goals with unrealistic expectations and little or no support system announced flippantly at the end of a season of stress and gluttony that set us up for failure. Resolutions such as I'm going to the gym every day from now on, or I'll never drink again, you know unrealistic goals.

I actually started a few resolutions in October. I started going to the gym more regularly. I'm working up to five days a week and my lofty goal is to work out an hour a day. So far I can only say I've made it to four, but I did go to the gym two saturday's in a row!! Last weekend, at 8 pm, which is just weird, and yesterday, even though it had started snowing. First snow of the season. I probably should have been terrified to get on the road with so many people who don't know how to drive in the snow but, I was fine. People hadn't yet started slamming their cars into one another, maybe because it wasn't rush hour traffic. Anyway, I sit at a desk all day and the pile of things that need to be done now, just never seems to shrink. I also resolved to leave the office for my lunch everyday but that one hasn't worked out so far, and I really really want that one to happen.

I've resolved to prepare meals for us to eat during the week. I have been foiling my going to the gym after work by coming home ravenous, snacking, showering, then eating frozen pizza, or take out or some other terrible thing. But now I'm trying to prepare meals, with vegetables in them. Also because I don't like to prepare meat, I'm trying to figure out how to get some protein with my vegetables. I'm making a soup for the week, so at the very least, there is something healthy in the fridge.

I've also begun my fifth year of dry January. No alcohol for a month. I think this is my husbands seventh year of dry January. So we are in it together, but this is the first year that on day three I haven't craved a drink. Perhaps because I went to the gym instead, perhaps because I'm just tired of poisoning myself. I don't know, but I've felt good. I did drink wine on wednesday when we had make-up xmas with G's dad because he was so so sick for xmas. And I was almost immediately tired, slept like crap, and felt bedraggled the next day. And then I didn't even go to the gym after work, so I felt even worse. Did I replace drinking with working out? Is that even possible?

The confluence of these things is that I feel better, have more energy, and do things that I like to do, like reading, sewing, cooking, and all the fun girlie stuff, that I like to do. Although I need to do more laundry too, but somehow that doesn't take over all of the other stuff I want to do. Go figure. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make myself enough quinoa/oatmeal to last me a week's breakfasts, and go to the gym, now that the snow is melting off the roads.

one of the daily workouts at my gym.

copy cat

2012-01-07T17:27:00.000-08:00

so I actually have some things to say and things to share but my pieces of technology are disjointed right now and I'm trying to solve that. translation - while I wait for my ancient (circa 2006) macbook to download software updates so that I can finally take it appart and replace the battery, I am sitting here with a purring cat on my lap communicating to you. Sure I should sit on this post, edit it, and then actually post it, but we both know if I try to do that, I won't post anything. so I'm going to copy cat instead.

I just saw this on whorange and love it.

to a new year that is bright with confidence and dare I say, adventure.

Amy Rice Art

although, Amy, I would love one with a map of Seattle.

12 days until xmas - drink up!

2011-12-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of consumable gifts for those who are impossible to buy for, or for those who just really like liquor.* Here are some good consumables for those that are so inclined:

Lazzaroni Amaretto

This is not the amaretto of the scanky commercials. This is the amaretto of cookies! The cookies! If you haven't had them, they'd be a good gift too. This amaretto is super delicious in hot orange spice tea with a splash of milk. It's nice and warming on a winters night.

Counter Gin

My husband informs me that gin was once cheaper than food and was consumed by the poorest of London. Of course now, in a fancy glass, it's classy as hell.** Actually, I haven't tried this one yet, but I do love proper chaps wearing corsets. And, after having no gin and tonic for my grandmother on Thanksgiving, it seemed I needed to restock the pantry with something... worth viewing.

Elijah Craig

I don't really drink whiskey. I like it occasionally in mixed drinks, but my husbands taste in good whiskey makes me never want to tarnish it's flavor with anything. Frankly, good whiskey is wasted on me. But if you are looking for something to give a whiskey lover, my husband says this one is a favorite gift. He usually gives someone a bottle of Elijah Craig once a year. And the bottle is pretty, no?
* none of these are actual gifts this year, so I'm not giving anything away, yet.
** is hell classy?

13 days until xmas - art

2011-12-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I skipped a day. Yesterday was filled with xmas shopping, tree dressing chaos (including the tree falling over twice because the stand collapsed and we had to buy a new, burlier one), and xmas movie night showing of Love Actually to the one person who could make it, our friend Ellen. That's what we get for inviting people to our house meer hours before we want them to arrive. I guess we are just too spontaneous that way.

Anyway, while I was starting to feel rather anti material possessions, and was considering posting as such, there are two things I am always in support of purchasing: books (which I'll go into later) and art. Here are just a few pieces that I think are fantastic. Yes, I want them in my house, and yes, I'm in support of them being in yours.

Poster for Rear Window by Claudia Varosio

also:

Magnolia poster by Claudia Varosio

Claudia reinvents movie posters. They are all amazing.

The Butterfly Releaser by Elle Moss

I love pretty much all of what Elle Moss has done from ethereal oddities to nature prints. They are just lovely.

Dark Forest "Grimm Path" by Miss Quite Contrary

Miss Quite Contrary's etsy shop is filled with prints of vintage photos, maps, books and other antiquities.

Also, both Elle Moss and Miss Quite Contrary are having holiday sales. Am I allowed to buy myself another present?

15 days until xmas

2011-12-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

yep, I do love le creuset. And I definitely need a honey pot! Somehow the honey always gets all crusty and you can't squeeze it out of the bear and you can't microwave the bear (BPAs!), or the lid of the jar has glued itself shut with honey, or you were a fool and bought a syrup dispenser and lo and behold the honey does not pour out... oh, the humanity! That's why I need this lovely honey pot with the little silicone honey dipper.

le creuset honey pot

You think you aren't going to eat that much honey, but you make one pan of cornbread (in your le creuset bakeware) and suddenly you need more.

16 days until xmas

2011-12-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

This time of year, everyone has posts filled with fabulous lovely gift ideas. None of which seem to be a good idea for most of the people on my list. I vowed this year that I would finish this xmas present business in good time. I even thought I'd try to do the art of doing stuff's christmas pledge wherein I complete all of my xmas preparations by December 4. I don't even think I started by December 4. I still have pumpkins on my dining table. I did place some lights on the mantle amid hangover, the weekend after thanksgiving. Two nights ago I managed to hang the wreath I'd bought two days before that, on the front door with an actual bow. So, there! Xmas! Last weekend we began my Christmas movie weekend with Elf, two friends, and homemade chili. Yes, I know, chili does not seem terribly xmas-y, but it does warm the belly on a cold winters night. And did I mention that I'm cold? Because it's winter? This weekend will be Scrooged and possibly Love Actually (because G seems to think that it's a Christmas movie. I'm not so sure but I think it's funny that he wants to watch a chick flick). This saturday will also be xmas tree day, local bookstore shopping day. Whatever will I make for dinner?

So far I haven't been out shopping to more than three stores. I have however shopped online, ordered gifts from small boutique online places, ordered a few things I can't buy locally from Amazon, ordered a few things for me because I have to add a couple of things to add up to $25 to make my shipping free. Ordered Meg's new book A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration on the day despite knowing no one who is planning on getting married, just because Meg is amazing. And added hundreds of things to my amazon wish list and pinterest pages because I'm easy to buy for, I like neat things. I don't know, maybe I'm not easy to buy for, but for the next 16 days until xmas, I intend to post just some of the things that I think would be awesome presents for me* or for someone like me (aw shit, was that a promise to post????). Maybe.

Let's start with bakeware that I don't need at all but find to be lovely and would totally buy for someone else if I knew they might want something like this:

Revel Black Belle Cuisine Deep Square Bakers from Sur La Table

I actually have no need for these but I think matte black bakeware is just hot!

le creuset cassis heritage covered stoneware baker

Because it has a lid!!! And I have one square baker that is truly my favorite thing to bake in. Maybe just because it's pretty.

And I didn't know this about myself, but apparently I do kind of love the way le creuset looks. Tomorrow, things from my very own wish list. Are you excited? It's xmas! It's time to be excited by my super holiday looking choices!**

*this is by no means a demand for stuff, because I am pretty content with most of my stuff, but everyone likes pretty things, right?

** does this sarcasm come across at all in my written word?

black friday or buy nothing day

2011-11-25T18:17:00.000-08:00

Does it count as following the rules if the only thing I buy on black friday is a delivery pizza for dinner because my friends specifically requested it? The pregnant woman wants a veggie thai pizza from Zeek's. I do not argue with pregnant ladies.

Anyway, while I have made the pledge to avoid the chaos and commercialism of black friday, I have been shopping about online adding things to my amazon universal wish list. I've also been thinking that while I don't know what to get those on my xmas list, I am very easy to buy for. I am always happy with scarves and dish towels, and after hosting a very successful and fun thanksgiving yesterday, it turns out I don't have any serving dishes. Nor do I have a butter dish. Actually, this year, I want both a butter dish and a butter crock because I love the idea of a butter crock to keep the butter fresh and it's still nice to have a dish to put butter on the table. I like these so far:

tea and toast butter dish from anthropologie

le crueset butter crock

I also like lotions that smell like citrus fruits.

time to vote

2011-11-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I've mentioned before, but I'm a tad indecisive. Okay. I know I've mentioned it before, but maybe I haven't mentioned that my husband is picky. Lately, his pickiness has beat out my indecisiveness in many many things. And maybe it's just that I haven't picked something that I prefer, but I might be getting a little bitter about never getting my way even if I don't know which way I want it.
For example, in the last week, we acquired new dishware in order to serve the 17 now 14 dinner guests that are coming to our first ever Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because he didn't want to borrow dishware and he decided that he was in love with the from the deep dishware from anthropologie. If I was picky at all it was that I didn't want 16 plates with octopuses on them. Sometimes I just want to eat off of a white plate. What's wrong with flexibility? We compromised and bought eight octopuses and eight crate and barrel roulette blue band dinner plates. Which also weren't my favorite of all time, but coordinate nicely with our krakens. And G insisted that we have blue on the white so they went together.
In any case, I'm trying to add things to my amazon wishlist for xmas and I can't decide between these three duvet covers. G prefers the blue one (although it strikes me as the girliest one), but he's not being as picky as with the dishes so, it's up to me. What do you think?

blue:

winter floral from west elm

grey:

solarized from west elm

green:

moonflower from west elm

Which one do you like best?

happy holidays?

2011-11-17T13:29:00.001-08:00

my mom should definitely make this wreath. It's so her.

from Sweet Paul magazine via d*s

and this Sweet Paul magazine is super cute!

and hi again. no eclair, it's not over yet. I don't know what it is, but it's not over. maybe if I used my home computer, I would be better at this but, I'm not interested in making excuses right now.

I'm planning for hosting my first thanksgiving where G and I have both of our fun and crazy families over. it seemed like a decent enough idea and then the guest list ballooned to 17 of our lovely family members. and then one of our future dinner guests died. and it's pretty crushing and strange as death always is. I don't know how many people will make it now, but I'm still planning for big. If less people show, then more leftovers. still family is good. I like our families. and maybe they are a little more important now too. and this year, I say more holiday cheer. Cheer, I say, CHEER!!!

photo no. 17 - pout

2011-08-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the dentist. I have now had the second side of my mouth numbed and scraped below the gum line to treat my now recurring periodontal disease. After the first treatment, almost two years ago, it wasn't supposed to come back. But it did. Possibly because I don't floss often enough, possibly because my nine year old sonicare died. Possibly because my husband doesn't always brush his teeth before kissing me good night. (yes, it makes me think, ew.) This time, in order to truly kick it, I have had a dna test to see what kind of bacteria occurs in my mouth either just from food and environmental things, or from genetic precursors. And now I have had the right and left side of my gums and teeth poked, prodded and scrapped by a kind woman that handed me a hot towel after attacking my face. And now I am pouting uncontrollably. Mainly because I feel as if I am going to chew the inside of my cheek out and that would be irritating once the feeling fully comes back into my mouth, assuming it ever does.

I also have been handed two different prescription antibiotics in order to kill the creepy genetic bacteria. Well, it's killing a lot of other bacteria too. So I'm numb in the face and itchy in the crotch all because I don't floss enough. Let this be a lesson to you!

At least this took some of the attention off of the ultra itchy mosquito bites that I have from going to a glorious wedding this weekend, where my husband officiated. Ordained by the Universal Life Church as a self-proclaimed Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, he has now married two sets of friends. And it was lovely. Of course I don't have many pictures because we both left our cameras in the hotel and my iphone was almost dead when I started trying to take pictures with that. I did dance so hard in a pair of platform heels that my legs still hurt from all the work to my quads - gettin' down. At one point I got down and couldn't get my ass back up and needed a hand. And then I kept on dancing. Here is a picture of the dress that I wore, the first strapless dress I've ever owned. And it stayed up the whole night! (Although I'm certain it's because I've gained too much belly weight to let it fall below a certain point - a plus side to my weight gain?) Anyway, I looked pretty hot and I wish I had a picture of it. Oh well.

Cirque A-line dress from Anthropologie with my own obi belt

I am definitely still stuck in a state of I don't have anything to say so I'm not going to post anything. Actually, my head is, in fact, often wild with endless, useless words building up in my head that I never share. Not even on twitter, because I also have a problem with the limitations of 140 characters, if only because I feel they have to be some sort of poetry. This is such a cop out. What I actually need to do is write and write and write and write and write. If you don't like what I have to say, I'm sure you'll tell me. In fact you did. You told me to keep writing and I didn't. I thought about it a lot, but I still didn't do it. And then I went to the dentist, and came home feeling sorry for myself and started reading stuff that made me want to write stuff even if it wasn't very interesting. I wish I had more time to read to be inspired to write, but then sometimes I think I might just piss it away doing laundry and feeling sorry for myself. pout.

Photo no. 16. - think about pretty things...

2011-08-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

There is a spider in my laundry room that is so big I think he is old enough to have learned how to speak english. Actually, when I say laundry room, I mean unfinished basement where the washer and dryer live, next to the very large spider. I think I'll call him Bob. I mean, I figure he should have a name if he's going to prevent me from ever doing laundry again. I found Bob, when I was trying to do a load of towels. I brought some freshly dirty ones down and ran a load, and then went to pull the last couple of towels out of the laundry bin, and there he was, crawling all over a bathroom mat, claiming his territory. That Bob. So rude.

Anyway, I'm a little freaked out now, and wondering who will do my laundry now that I can't set foot in the basement anymore. G always forgets to use dryer sheets and wouldn't know to pull out bras before they go in the dryer. Sigh.

And now that Bob has presented himself to me, I'm certain that he's going to find a nice hiding place so that when I try to sick G on him when he gets home that Bob will have conveniently disappeared. And supposing I do ever chance doing laundry again, Bob will probably just drop on me from the ceiling. He'll say, "hey, this is my basement. you left all of this stuff for me, so I get to use it." Of course I won't hear any of that because I'll be saying "AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!"

Anyway, hello. Here is something pretty to think of while I try to get my mind off of Bob. Is that something crawling on me??? No, it's just a hair.

This is my portulaca (somehow it looks less impressive on film). This and my many pots of thyme are the only plants that seem to like the way I water, that is, when I feel like it and definitely not in the morning when I'm already dressed for work, which may not be fancy, but I don't need my outfit either wet, or possibly muddy from a hose gone awry, which my hose has been known to do (that doesn't sound right...). Anyway, this lovely little drought tolerant succulent flowers all summer long with almost no work from me. I just get to sit and enjoy it. Away from Bob.

photo no. 15 - thinking of you

2011-07-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

I suppose this is too late. Just like every time I want to write a thank you note, or at thinking of you note, or a note. I seem to be moving through space one moment at a time lately, driven only by what seems most important at the moment: sleep, work, eat, work, gym, home, dinner, laundry?, water flowers? (stare at weed garden), do whatever it is that G has in mind for the weekend (not much), go for a walk, dig in weed garden, sigh heavily, drink, sleep, work, eat, work, gym, home, dinner, etc. When simply compelled by actions, I have little motivation for thoughtful things, often doing things out of necessity, manufactured or true. There are the obvious choices, work, eat, and sleep. And then the less obvious, gym (I have some one pressing me to go with her, so that helps), and walks with G (this has become one of my favorite summer past times. Must I water the plants? What was the point of planting them if you're just going to kill them - thus, water the plants. Laundry? I must have more clean underwear somewhere deep in the drawer...

Of course until about three days ago, much of this simple action compelled life has been a side effect of my allergies which for all of July have left me muddled with or without medication. The Claritin makes me feel better but a bit low on energy and surprisingly bitchy and without... well sneezy, headachey and all around a pleasure. My fabulous sis-in-law told me that it helps to drink camomille tea all day and I started and it helped a lot, which is photo no. 15. Late but here. The muddling in my head makes me feel quite bored with my own words, tired of myself, and not terribly interested in spreading my good cheer. A friend of mine once told me that when I get a bit depressed I pull away from everyone. Isn't that what everyone does?

Well anyway. When I can't please myself, I usually make a vague stab at pleasing others and then usually feel I have failed. Like dinner. I can never make dinner good enough for me, so it can't possibly be good enough for G. I guess because this is quintessentially me, I can't stop thinking about how to please you with my blog. And I'm supposed to be following the rules of good blogger which I believe goes something like: never post other people's pictures, and your own should be good (so far, fail); be honest, but not too self-deprecating and definitely funny (honest - yes but withholding; funnily self-deprecating - eh,); and interesting (eh); with a good headline that makes you want to read me (epic fail); be a pretty blog (eh.); and no. 1 - post every day ( I think we all know how badly I have failed with this one).

However, there are plenty of successful (maybe not great, but) blogs that don't follow all of these rules (and post every week at the bare minimum), but they still maintain a singular focus. I don't seem to have that either.

I thought maybe I would focus on pictures of my house, but the lack of work on my house, with the exception of the ongoing and fruitless task of pulling weeds, I don't entirely know what to show you. G pulled out one side of our fence on Friday and dug holes for new posts but, I don't know how pretty I can make a picture of wood and chicken wire rubble look with my iphone. It's also hard to take pictures of your own cooking while cooking. Go figure. And now that I'm writing this, I feel like this is an excuse-filled apology, just like an overdue thank you note.

So instead, I pose this question to you: What do you want to read/see when you come here?

A. random ass photos I take with my iphone.
B. random ass words I feel like spewing once a week. most likely unedited (breaking the other rule where you are supposed to edit your posts 24 hours after you write them before posting).
C. links to my obsession with pinterest page where I have now moved all of my excited stolen internet images about what I want for the house in dreams or possibilities.
D. words I'm not sure I want to share with myself let alone the interwebs, like say, I ate a weird combination of things yesterday, so today I am nursing my diarrea with miso stock and immodium.
F. stop posting, you're wasting your time, we stopped reading you after you failed at posting wedding pictures. plus, your wedding blog pretty much sucked too.
G. other.

Please fill my email inbox with something other than solicited junk mail (yes it's my fault, I bought things at jcrew so now I get email from them, and west elm, and pottery barn, crate and barrel, sephora, etc.)

love,
sera

photo no. 14 - hallway fan

2011-07-07T07:47:00.001-07:00

days like today make me want to move to portlandia where the weather is a few degree warmer and a little more predictable. it's july but it's overcast and overnight the temperature dipped back into cardigan temperature. yet for some reason I don't want to turn the ceiling fan in the hallway off. I guess it just makes me feel like it's summer.*

*and it's an atrociously unattractive ceiling fan but while in motion, it's hard to see it's white limbs etched with gold filigree paint.

photo no. 12 and 13 - summer reading

2011-07-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

pink opium, orange california, and a yellow rose struggling to make it

I am 1/5th of the way through the third book in George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series and yet I just can't seem to relax long enough to do any summer reading. I have also been encouraged* to finish reading all of Harry Potter, of which I have read only the first book.** I have digressed to having the attention span of half of a Vogue article and a few runs through twitter (without having 140 characters to tap back). As of this last weekend it is lovely and sunny and even warm outside and so it should be perfect weather to park my butt in a plastic adirondack chair and read, but I can't shake the feeling that I should be doing something else. I should be working out, making something healthy to eat, sleeping***. And then there is the garden. On Saturday, I pulled weeds for the better part of 4 hours and my hamstrings still ache. Yet until I get some sort of garden plan in place, the yard is and will continue to be filled with california poppies and patches of dirt. And gangly roses and opium poppies and chocolate mint. So it's not all bad. In any case, I just want to dig in the garden and go on long walks and then wake up and watch the tour de france with my coffee. why do I have to go to work?****

this one popped out today - opium poppy in purple

*threatened
**don't start with me, I have very particular reading taste and I read very slowly as if digesting every and and the like the last nibbles off of a delightful cheese plate.
***I have stopped sleeping very well since my allergies began in full force (last week) and there is still a glimmer of light in the sky at 10pm (which is not a complaint, I love this, I just also love mid-afternoon naps and I have a day job).
****I guess I need to pay for it all somehow...

photo no. 11 - the hunter

2011-06-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

no matter what...

...she still loves me.

even though she would kill me if she was big enough to. but then she'd regret it because she'd have to eat me.

photo no. 10 - sugar

2011-06-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a long week and a half of gluttony. If all goes well, I plan on sleeping in a little before making my G some coffee before he goes off to work. Neither of us uses sugar in our coffee, but sometimes I just want those little things that you're supposed to have in your kitchen: salt and pepper shakers, a sugar shaker, a butter dish (with maybe some butter in it)...

I only recently purchased two different types of salt and pepper shakers because G kept complaining. We already had salt and pepper grinders, but he wanted the ease of a shaker, because he is a salt fiend, he salts salty things. So I bought a tiny table top set and a larger "cooking" set. Perhaps I will take their pictures, but not today. Today is for the sugar shaker that I covet from the delicioso caffe downstairs from my work, Caffe Senso Unico. Where I had a coffee too late in the day and now I have a crazy case short attention span where I suddenly loose focus mid-path and... ooh shiny!
So now is for whatever shiny thing I come up with next, and tomorrow is for tomorrow. Happy weekend lovelies!

photo no. 9 - not too old yet

2011-06-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

today is my birthday. I'm going to a show. so there.

and apparently I'm not too old to tear a show poster off of a pole. ha.

beet cake

2011-06-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

it's father's day. I'm not making beet cake because my sis-in-law is in charge of dessert. Instead I'm making cheater's quiche (I can't find my rolling pin (lost in the basement still)) so I'm purchasing the crust pre-made (gasp!). hopefully the innards will make up for it.

In any case, this video is super pretty and makes me want to make beet cake.

beet cake from tiger in a jar on Vimeo.

coconut cream piiiiiiieeeee

2011-06-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

{cakespy.com}

my office was nice enough to ask me what kind of dessert I wanted for my birthday and while it isn't my birthday until tuesday, most of the office will be gone then. today they went and bought me my favorite coconut cream pie from the dahlia bakery. I've mentioned this damned pie before, and in fact posted most of the recipe courtesy of cake spy, but sometimes it's nice just to eat. mmmmmm, pie.

and happy birthday to my friend Jason. lets go eat!

photo no. 8 - garlic

2011-06-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say here. but I don't mind waiting for my farmers market garlic to dry. they look so proud sitting on the window sill like that. and I'm sure when it's time, they'll taste amazing.

photo no. 7 - not right

2011-06-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of at a loss for words here.

photo no. 6 - poppies smell like dirt

2011-06-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

poppies two days in a row?

1. today is monday
2. poppies smell like dirt but they're pretty anyway
3. I don't know where all of my vases are because I still haven't really unpacked.
4. not to be a cliche but I can be really bitchy when I'm on the rag and cramping like a bitch on the rag
5. taking a walk instead of lying on the couch and moaning proved to be the correct choice
6. *yes poppies two days in a row

photo no. 5 - my eyes are burning

2011-06-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

After an enjoyable morning of feeling rather unproductive - we slept in, met a friend, walked to a bakery and enjoyed many of my neighborhood yards filled with massive poppies and random other explosions of flowers, G and I somehow managed to get down to the dirty work again.

Someday I'll have these in my yard.

While I went out to tackle some weeding, G just went out to mow the lawn, which now that the two foot high grass is gone, goes really fast.

pretty purple flowered weeds that smell like ass.

Now, a lot of times, I get overwhelmed with the idea of tackling great big tasks like this. I also have some allergies and a mild fear of crawly things. So while my weeding, no matter how well intentioned began with a few little things here and there, G finished up the mowing and decided to get in deep.

G pulling some sort of strangling vine.

And then kept going.

Cleared.

And kept going.

And he managed to pull a crazy amount of ivy and blackberry and unidentified but damned smelly foliage until we were left with sad green and dirt and that broken fence.

But now we can reach the fence to try and replace it.

Like magic, our lazy day turned productive. While I often feel like things are going very slowly, because they are, we are making progress. And I can tell by my itchy throat and burning eyes. Next step, fencing?

Photo no. 4

2011-06-09T21:27:00.001-07:00

I know something about myself that I often refuse to admit - I need to work out, go for a walk, do yoga, get off my butt and move. Nine months out of the year, it's easier for me to do my moving inside (like at that infernal gym) because it's stupid cold or drizzly or dreary or even dark here a lot (although right now there is still a tiny glimmer of light in the sky, the good side of the long winter nights is the long summer days). I also do better if someone else is motivating me to move. And for the last two years of my gym membership, I have tried to find someone else who was into going with me to no avail. Until recently. My lovely friend and former co-worker (although we made the pact before she left for a great opportunity) who is also good at scheduling and forcing people to do things, convinced me to sign up at her gym. And although our schedule accounts for three days a week and we've only averaged two, we're working out. Hooray! And today, even though I couldn't make it to the gym with her because I worked two hours late, again, I went anyway. Because I felt icky and stressed out and I realized (lo and behold!) I needed to work out. And I did, and now I feel better. So, I'm hopeful that I can keep this up because I really want to and I think I really need to.

Here's to opening doors.

This is our door within a door window instead of a peephole. *

*Although we have no curtains so we can see people come up the steps. Just try and hide from one of those good will solicitors here! I actually managed to hide directly behind the door once, but only by chance. Why would I hide from people with such good will? Well, because I'm the one who gives to all of them. I'm like an old person with no money who just writes the check anyway. Planned Parenthood? of course! Naral? of course! Sierra Club? of course! People for Puget Sound? yep, and I got a free grocery tote too. I'm just a bleeding heart, liberal sucker.
...who needs to work out. That's me.

Photo no. 3

2011-06-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's been dreary the last couple of days. Today is no different. But the smell of fresh basil and the long hours of light no matter how dimmed by clouds reminds me that it is spring and warm days are not far off. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

basil in the kitchen window

Photo no. 2

2011-06-07T09:27:00.001-07:00

everyone's favorite wall

You don't even know how many times I have heard the words "I kind of think you should keep it like that." Until we rewire, this what it looks like, so...

going backless

2011-06-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

Someday, we'll have an island in the...

rustic bar stool and industrial stool - both west elm

...kitchen (you thought I was going to say hawaii or bahamas or san juan islands at the very least.)

G and I seem to like two different kinds of bar stools. These go nicely together. I'll take two of each please! Oh, you mean I have to buy them?

how to get things done or how to fail

2011-06-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

In list form, it seems more productive.

Photo 1: June 5, 2011

1) I'm filled with great ideas that never come to fruition. Is it because I forget to write them down and so forget about them? Or is it because when I do write them down and then feel pressured by the fact that I have made this demand of myself and have the gut reaction that I don't want to be held down.*
2) Further, I hesitate in telling you my ideas because I then feel added pressure to do them. Does this make me a flake? Crap. I'm a flake. **

Step 1 for the blog: stop making excuses about how my laptop battery is dead and so I have to be plugged in to use it and I don't have enough outlets and I spend all day on a computer doing work which is not as fun as writing on my blog but... Or buy the imac that I was going to buy a year ago so that I could make fewer excuses about screen size and being booted from my husbands desk***. Check (now it's my computer hogging the desk (muhahahahaha)).
Step 2 or Idea 1 for the blog: ~~write stuff.~~ (too vague). Make better goal.

Idea 2: t~~ake pictures of the food that you have quite enjoyed making.~~ stopped cooking regularly due to stress of house deconstruction. Make new goal.
Idea 3: post pictures of house as it moves forward. hmm. I'm working on this one still. G and I had his mom and sister over for dinner on Mother's Day and my favorite response to our house so far came from sister: "From the pictures on your blog, I thought we would be eating on the floor in a pile of rubble. This looks amazing!" Yep, that's a complement. Of course, I didn't post that she said that or that I have been thinking about posting pictures of the good progress I made since then. system failure. get up and try again. no really, try again.
Idea 5: just post the things you want for the house. nope. too difficult. I don't have the energy for all of that research as it is, let alone making myself an ongoing blog of things that I want but can't afford. blech. That's what I read other blogs for****.
Idea 4: take one picture per day using my iphone (so as not to create any additional strife with camera docking etc., etc.), and post it to the blog in whatever state it may be in. No this is not a new idea but I thought it might get me going again. Now that I have stopped blogging, I have been struggling with more and more writers block. Maybe doing something obvious that has been done before will kick me out of my slump.
Idea 5: Combine ideas 3 and 4 to post pictures, good and bad of the house in its many states of both good, bad and in progress. This must include the yard:

Last weekend we pulled no less than 100,000***** dandelions out of our yards, the kind with multigenerational roots. There are still dandelions but I haven't had it in me to keep going. And we also pulled the dead japanese maple tree out of the front yard, only to find a water pipe running directly under the root system. Fun times. Now the front yard is a sad patch of grass, some resilient dandelions, a pile of dirt, some california poppies (because if you're going to have weeds at least keep the ones with flowers) and some other unidentified weeds that are choking out the two live rose bushes that almost look like they are ready to bloom. (Did I mention that this weekend was the first day to reach over 70 degrees in 196 days? And, now I'm inside. Lame? Maybe. But, here I am communicating for my own pleasure. Will you still read? I don't know. My monthly google analytics emails say "your stats are down. Happy blogging!" Grumble, grumble, condescending electronically generated anti-motivational tool.) Anyway!

Step 3: Get started...again. Check.

Conclusion: I don't have one. I am too full of excuses about it. But I'm going with Idea 5. Post one picture a day of the house or whatever else and if I post words with it, so be it. If not, picture it is.

Until tomorrow I guess.

*Is it an excuse that I'm even bothering to tell you about it?

**Is this self-deprication or a reality check?

***Which is actually my desk but because I have/had a laptop, I told him he could have the desk. hmm.

****When I do, but I haven't been much lately because reading blogs on the iphone isn't as fun as it sounds. I'm getting very squinty of late.

*****Mild exaggeration is fun. It was probably only 1,000 but still!

everything takes longer than you think

2011-05-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

When people say, everything takes twice as long as you think it's going to, what they mean is everything takes 10 times as long as you think it's going to.

Hi. First of all, I finally have the internet again, hooray!!! Now I don't have to crushingly try to post to you from my phone, which I couldn't really figure out. I have posts started in there that will probably never see the light of day. Or, they will, but you will have to just forgive me for some random typos and lost thoughts because I think a little faster than my thumbs can type.

Second, I love this house. It's in some pieces and I don't know where to begin on days like today (here I am typing instead of doing any of the things on my long list for just today), but I still love it. G came downstairs this morning and said "We have two stories!" Yep, we do. Hooray! And it's May Day which hopefully means that I have to worry a little less about being cold since we currently have no ductwork running from our furnace in the basement to, well anywhere else in the house. The asbestos removal guy took out all of the asbestos wrapped ducts and the asbestos wrapped heat register pieces (I don't know what they are called but it has been quite difficult finding new ones that will work so...) leaving us with only slow filtering heat from the basement and some funny exposed interior walls.

back "bedroom" with asbestos wrapped vent and knob and tube wiring

The white duct in the above picture is now gone, but the wiring and framing is still exposed.

What did it look like before we tore out the plaster? Well, I don't have the exact picture here, but the opposite wall looks (still) like this:

"wood" paneling was installed on opposite walls.

Why not just tear out all of the paneling? Well, when we removed the paneling from some of the walls, they go from looking terrible like this, to worse, like this:

part of the kitchen wall with paneling removed exposing cracked and damaged green painted plaster.

As I explain this, I realize that it looks like we bought a horror show. It wasn't a total horror show, but all of our seemingly minor little decisions have become major undertakings as one little decision leads to another, bigger and more complicated process. For example: when we bought our lovely home it was carpeted wall to wall with good ol' apartment standard beige covering hardwood floors. Step one, pull up carpet, step two, refinish floors. So simple. Except there was this low archway between the living room and dining room that was not that great. We'll just open up the wall. But we had to open the wall before refinishing the floors because we'd have to patch the oak floor where the wall was. Except that the joists supporting the second story were running the wrong direction making that wall a load bearing wall. We got a contractor to put in a beam to support the upper floor. Except that when we opened up the wall, we exposed an asbestos wrapped vent. But if you are going to pay a fortune to have asbestos removed, you might as well have all the asbestos removed. So we exposed the other two vents that run from the basement to the top floor. And we (when I say we, I really mean G) removed some framing in the basement for another wood paneled room because it was sitting on top of asbestos tile. As was our kitchen linoleum. Sure we wanted to replace the kitchen floor, because we also want to completely remodel our kitchen, but now, we have subfloor, topped with glue topped with the spray that they use to make asbestos non-ferous (won't break apart into sub-particles to be breathed in). It went from eh, but livable, to ick:

kitchen nook with flooring before asbestos removal...

kitchen floor now.

Yep. That's what it looks like now. So I went to IKEA and bought three large grass style mats that are much much better.

Anyway, because we are living in the middle of the renovation. I guess I started with photos of the middle. And every little thing takes 10 times as long as you think it's going to, which means every little thing involves little celebrations. Yesterday, actually, within a 24 hour period, G and I made three trips to IKEA, round trip 50 miles, just to buy a dresser so that our clothes weren't all over the ground. What should have been a three hour project took 24 hours to build two dressers that are really just something to hold our clothing.

How long will this remodel take? I have heard many a person say the words, "Congratulations, you have a project for the rest of your life." This is just part of the list of things we have done, want and need to do to this house (while we both work at least 40 hours a week to pay for it). I am also including a few of the things we have already completed since acquiring the keys on March 1 and not going into great detail on the things that interrupted the process (more on these things later):

~~repaint and change hardware on kitchen cabinets even though we will tear them out in the next 6 months (if all goes well)~~
~~remove wall between living room and dining room~~
~~remove carpeting downstairs~~
~~refinish and stain hardwood floors~~
~~asbestos removal~~
~~replace disgusting kitchen appliances~~
duct from furnace to top floor
rewire as much of the house as we can after having new electrical breaker installed
give hot tub (yep the house came with a hot tub) to our contractor who actually wants it (come and get it Scott!)
replace the horrible addition tacked onto the back of the kitchen with a deck
remove walls between kitchen and back bedroom
install french door to the deck
re-design kitchen (I hear this takes longer than the actual work)
re-floor kitchen
new cabinets in kitchen
new lighting in kitchen
new whatever else in kitchen
install bathroom on main floor

And then there are all the little things. We were done moving things 15 days ago. We went to IKEA three times in 24 hours wasting all of Saturday. So, today I need to:

hem the curtains that I installed last weekend so we weren't total exhibitionists
make curtains for the closet window (yes, closet windows! east facing which have the potential to fade all of my clothes, thus the need for closet curtains)
laundry (don't forget about all the regular things you have to keep up with)
find the closet floor
begin composting again
plant the basil I bought at trader joe's two days ago (it's supposed to be in the m)
rewire the cable
plan meals for the next week and make dinner

It's 1:33 now. How much do you think I can get done?

indecisive

2011-04-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

If you know it's temporary but you dont know how indefinite temporary is, where do you put the thingamajigs and the whatsits?

oh hi.

2011-04-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

All right. I'll be honest. Many times when I make promises to myself, I berate myself until I can't keep my own promises. I made a promise to keep writing this blog. I want to write this blog. I enjoy writing this blog. And I love the unexpected connections I've made with some of you (although with my vacancy, I have lost touch as well). But here, I have sometimes had to falsify my feelings in order to keep this blog positive and optimistic - something I thought was important. So, when I was on the brink and simply could not be positive or optimistic, I had nothing. Or, very little to say. No one likes a debbie-downer, right. I felt as if I would be a disappointment to myself and to you if I spilled my icky self-deprecating guts all over this blog. But frankly, I'm just not all sunshiny and blossomy like that. I'm a real girl, with real feelings and when I have reached out here, you all have only given me kindness. Having left this blog alone for so long, I have become a disappointment to me. So, having said that, I'm back, ready to be honest (if moody), and I really want to keep in touch this time.

That last post way back in October was a subtle announcement that I finally, after many long painful days, over two and a half years in fact, I got a new job. But I didn't want to jinx it and I felt very uncertain. It was a hard transition. While many people slack off on those last two weeks of a job, I worked harder than ever because I didn't want to be a disappointment. To who, I'm not sure, but maybe me. A last hoorah of hard work to prove I did something good. Then I worked really hard to try to learn this new job and got a little bit burnt out sitting in front of a computer screen. And then I hurt my back. And then it was winter and the chaos of xmas, and then it was really winter. And then, and then something big happened. Something I wasn't sure I could ever do.

With a lot of love and support, my husband and I bought a house! Isn't it lovely! Here's the first picture I'm going to share with you to really drive up the excitement:

our official half bath. don't you just love that purple privacy curtain?

And then real chaos ensued. G and I talked and argued dreams and more dreams and then we got the keys. And the dreaming stopped and we had to start working. Hard hard working. While we received the keys to our new lovely abode on February 28th, we have yet to move in. Soon. But not yet. Actually, we have to be out of the rental house we currently live in on April 15th so... really soon. As of today, however, we cannot walk on the living room floor because of a long arduous process of stripping and refinishing the nearly destroyed hardwoods in the living area of the main floor (but those details are for another time). Tonight my husband, now with a head cold (or perhaps just a horrifying amount of sawdust in his sinuses), will layer the last coat of polyurethane on the floor. Maybe by Sunday we can put some furniture on it.

I am really proud of the hard work my husband and I have done on this house so far, even though we have a long way to go. And I really want to share some of our chaos with you. So that is my new plan. What started as a wedding blog, and became and I-don't-know-what blog, is becoming a renovating nightmare blog. I think it all still fits with my silly title of broken*saucer. So, what do you think?

life is short

2010-10-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

{i can read}

It's only half out there, so I feel like I should keep this one a little close to my chest but bonus points* for guessing which of these things I've just done. Hint**

*and the answer to the last bonus points was actually not Pride and Prejudice, although good guess. This link in the post was the answer.

** in two weeks I'm hoping that my life will start to calm down. It seems I've become quite the drama queen!!

P.S. I may need a lot of moral support today, so this is where I beg you to do that wonderful thing that you do and wish me good luck today. I really need it.

ballet

2010-10-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

On my drive to work, I pause to take a right a block from the Pacific Northwest Ballet. I often see the PNB ballerinas on walking to work. There is no mistaking their long limbed, svelte bodies, with perfect posture, often adorned with a high messy bun. Then again, I'll sometimes see them in the grocery store deli that I frequent for lunch.

tonight, I'm escaping with the girls, to go to the ballet.

{rodney smith}

It's been a long time since I've seen them dance and contort. I'm sure it will be lovely.

ham and cheese

2010-09-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

Recently, my friend Sarajane declared that pork is her only downfall to being a dedicated pescetarian. Her husband is a vegetarian, making it that much easier to avoid pork, but since he wasn't having dinner with us, she ordered the pork.

I actually don't eat a lot of meat. I hate to prepare meat, and even get a little grossed out preparing fish. But because of this, I have long struggled with eating enough protein. As much as I'd like to believe it, cheese is not really a good source. So, I tend to eat a lot of prepared meats, like lunchmeats and sausages (although usually turkey and ham) which are probably the worst possible choice. So as much as I might periodically woo the concept of going veg, it's just not going to happen yet.

And my downfall?

{here}

I love ham. And bacon. And prosciutto. And pepperoni (except this is often made with other meats as well (I'm trying not to think about it)). Basically any cured pork. I know it's terrible for me, nonetheless, I love it. And I don't eat ham a lot, maybe once a week? twice?*.

And with that in mind, my true downfall: ham and cheese croissants.

I haven't been to the bakery I usually get my ham and cheese croissants from in a while because, well, like I said, I try to refrain. Not only are my delicious ham and cheese croissants filled with ham, they are also filled with cheese (I know shocking right?) and wrapped in a shell of buttery, flakey, white-floury goodness. But the bakery, well, I've known for a long time that it's a bit of a hippie bakery. Which is not at all a bad thing because that actually means they use quality ingredients and produce super tasty baked goods. Except that, this morning, I went in to get my buttery loveliness for the first time in a couple of months and, wouldn't you know, they've stopped making them. Because they don't bake with meat anymore.

Blergh! stupid bakery. stupid ham. grr.

I also want to say, that after that last post, you all were so sweet and kind and lovely to me. It really filled my heart with love. buttery, flakey love.

*I'll admit to no more than that...

uninvited

2010-09-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty tight-lipped about the drama in my life lately. Sometimes I think that I should be less open with you, my dear readers, because I don't necessarily know who you are, because by putting myself out there, here, I open myself up to the cruelty of anonymous trolls. But all this quiet has only caused me to open up more in real life which I feel has been even more detrimental. There is nothing like the instant gratification of getting the wrong response to what you are trying to say - in person. The look. The screwing up of the forehead, the quick, interrupting response before you've entirely composed your thoughts, the blank look of misunderstanding. Well. Suffice it to say that I have done a lot of opening up in person lately and it hasn't worked out so well. Don't get me wrong, I've actually had a lot of moral support lately as well, but I'm a dweller, and this thing has been dragging out and so I keep dwelling and I'm frankly, annoying myself with it. So with that in mind, today is the day that I feel like releasing it into the world. And today is d-day.

A while ago, I alluded to an event that transpired where I felt a bit wrecked and then quite relieved. Here's what happened: my husband, G, and I have a roommate, D. My husband has lived with D for the last eight years and when we got engaged and then married, it suited us financially to stay living with him because we live in a great house in an awesome neighborhood and all in all, D is a pretty easy dude to live with. Except for one problem. G and I have never liked his girlfriend. Now, I could go into all the many petty reasons that generally dislike her:

she's a horse girl, meaning she owns her own horse, but she is also super cheap, expecting other people to offer her their food, money, time, energy without consideration and without anything in return. Ah petty. But what isn't petty of me is that I have continued to be quite gracious towards her, for the sake of D, never once trying to argue, let alone discuss at all, the many religious and political reasons that we disagree. I'm not a confrontational person. In fact when I am met with confrontation or an insult, I am often completely struck silent. This girl, J, has repeatedly insulted me in my home - about my housecleaning, my cooking, my activities in my own home, the movies I enjoy watching with my husband, the choices I make on a day to day basis. If she doesn't agree with what I have chosen to do, she tells me and often in a snide, unexpected way. As far as her political and religious beliefs go, these topics have remained taboo in our house and for a very long time we managed to avoid them as a group. But all of the subtle comments have taken there toll, added up to this big haystack of insults in my brain, so much so, that I would actually flinch when she'd come into my house. A house where she had a key.

Keep in mind, I am not the only person I know who doesn't like this girl. She has been the topic of conversation with many of our friends much too often just out of sheer confusion that D would pick her. D is a reasonable, kind, intelligent person with an open heart and, ehem, correctly aligned, critically thought out, liberal political beliefs. And yet on Valentine's Day, D proposed marriage to J. At this point, (as into weddings as I am) I tried to help her out a little with her wedding planning, and with that I made some serious attempts to see a little bit of what D sees in her, to no avail. The more time I spent with her, the more I didn't get it and the more difficult it became to be near her. But they were engaged. And they weren't moving into our house, so they'd have to find a place together - D would move out soon. But as I've mentioned before, he hasn't yet.

About two months ago, G and I begrudgingly agreed to bbq in our backyard with D and J. We drank wine and the conversation shifted from the normally benign conversation about high school (G, D and J all went to high school together, snoozaroo but a safe-ish topic nonetheless) to homosexuality. Where it began to get ugly. You see, I believe that homosexuals are no different than heterosexuals in their right to marry, right to be human, right to be. Two of my best friends, my wedding officiant, a few of my family members are homosexuals. Many people have made better, more eloquent arguments about the civil rights of homosexuals than me, so I'll leave it to them and simply nod my head, clap and cheer and vote for them.

J on the other hand believes that older gay men prey on young confused boys to make them gay. Pedophiles every one. Her bible tells her that they are wrong. But I want to qualify that statement - I don't actually think that THE bible says that, I think that her religious beliefs have fed her that kind of hateful crap and for her it is safe to be judgmental and bigoted.

And here is where she crossed the line. Threw the last piece of straw on the haystack to break my back - more of a pile of logs actually.

Despite many attempts at conversation topic changes, each topic became more heated and, in D's words to me later, J began to attack me. She has no problem with racial profiling if it's for the benefit of her "America." She only sees bad things to come from healthcare reform. And finally, she announced her intrigue over the Tea Party and I could take no more.

But like I said, I have little or no ability to deliver clever come backs or even eloquently argue my views when put in controversial situations. It's one of those things that I hate about myself. I got up, proclaimed "WE'RE DONE!" and stormed out of my backyard. And then I called my mom who had to calm me down. G continued arguing for me for a while and then finally D suggested it be better if she not stay the night. D left for a business trip the next day and two days later came home and apologized to me. I was still stewing, but I was never really mad at D. I think now I maybe should have been, just a little, and maybe that I still am, just a little. A week later, J emailed to apologize to me - sort of, in her way, via email. I still didn't really know how to respond because I felt caught between supporting D and disliking his choice of fiance. So, I talked to D and told him how I felt. I mentioned four specifically hurtful and rude bits of straw in the haystack and told him that, despite trying very hard, this was the last log, and I just don't like J. To which he said, "you should tell her." He further suggested that if it's too difficult in person, that I email her back.

So I tried. I composed and edited and re-edited exactly what I told D. I carefully laid out four times that she had insulted me, quite insensitively and followed up with how uncomfortable she makes me in my own home. I did much of this composing at work, saved it, and then I drove home to get a little more perspective, to read it again and send it from there. But when I walked into my house, J was there, waiting to talk to me in person. No one else was home.

She asked me if we could talk and I first told her that I didn't want to, that I'd composed an email but hadn't sent it yet, but then... like polyester curtains, I exploded into flames. I yelled at her for easily 10 minutes and to my surprise she didn't yell back. I said all of the things that I'd carefully composed in my email but I also said some other things, some things I probably shouldn't have said, those things I'm always afraid I'll say, some things that sunk me to her level. I told her that she didn't deserve D.

Yep, too far.

And then I kicked her out of my house.

Aaaah.

And then I went for a run. And then G came home and I told him. He said, well, that solves that, we probably won't see much of her now. Of course he is on my side. When D got home, I apologized to him, said that I didn't expect her here, didn't mean to explode. He had no idea what I was talking about and he left to talk to J. J returned her key to D. D and I talked again, and he insisted that we were okay, but that he was officially looking for a place to move to now. Um. yeah.

Let me take a break here to remind you that they were engaged in February, and it was now August. Engaged but still not living together - by choice? I leave that one for you to analyse.

Here is where I skip ahead. It has been a mostly nice two months not to have seen her, except that today is September 25, and D still lives here - or stores his stuff here; he hasn't slept here more than a few times since then.

Two and a half weeks ago, D told G that he was obviously his best man. Um, huh? For a while we weren't sure that we were even still invited to the wedding, but, of course we were. Oooookaaaay. I then forced my friend and MOH to RSVP yes, even though she never ever wanted to go.

But then came the slow trickle of emails. Sera is invited to the wedding but not the rehearsal dinner. Great! I didn't want to go to two events, let alone the wedding.

Then, Monday, this week, G got an email from D stating that I was now uninvited - they just don't want any drama. I could keep my mouth shut for five years, but they figure I can't for one night. Oh wait, she couldn't keep her mouth shut, so she figures I can't.

But G is still best man. Here is the thing:

I never wanted to go to this wedding. I still don't. It starts in two hours. But, this puts G in a weird situation. Of course he can handle it, but a weird situation nonetheless. It was bad enough that he had to come up with a toast for a couple that we don't think should be together and now he doesn't have me there either. And maybe it's better that I'm not there, but honestly, I feel a bit separated from my own husband over this stupidness. This pettiness. This lowness. I do not want to be separated from my husband by a rude, selfish, bigot and our roommate who couldn't find a place to move into before November. So while I didn't want to go to the wedding, yes, I'm a bit angry at being uninvited. And finally, I'm a bit angry at D.

And the bottom line is that I'm still a bit angry at myself. Because if was a stronger person, I would have stood up for myself every time she insulted me in my house. The lines would have been clearly drawn from the beginning. I would have stood up for myself as far as our living arrangement goes and said, probably a year ago, when G and I got married, that it is time to move on. It's time for D to move on. Yet this drags on.

Tonight is the ceremonial end to this drama, and I won't be there to see it. I sent G off in a rented tuxedo (that doesn't look as good as the suit he married me in (tacky purple vest and tie (yes that is petty, but whatever.))). G promised me he wouldn't say anything nice about J in his speech. But how would I know if he did? Is it easier to lie? Is that the same as my holding my tongue the last few years?

Part of me thinks I deserve a drink, but I may save the champagne toast until D's things have finally been removed in November. And tonight? I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

* all the images are from the new Postcards from Penguin: 100 book covers in one box. They just seemed to fit.

a room of one's own

2010-09-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

I think you may have heard me wining about not having my own space where I can sew, blog, whatever. Yeah, I'm still dreaming of that perfect workspace in my future. I'm getting one very soon*. I can almost taste it (you know, the taste of paint and wood glue).

And while I wait**, I'm not even searching for lovely office images, they just keep coming to me, taunting me, saying "See this? You want it and you can't have it!"

To which I reply "HA! Just you wait!"

...and I wait some more. Anyway.

(coco kelley)

I just saw this one on coco+kelly and immediately felt the drool at my lip. I think I love every little thing about this room except that I can't stand the two chairs. Both are hideous and look woefully uncomfortable***. But. Still I love a little inspiration. And then I stumbled on the unclutterer workspace of the week. Ah inspiration.

* "they are building it now" ****

** and wait some more because our roommate whose room will be my office has not moved out yet. Although he has stopped sleeping here. You know, since he's getting married on Saturday*****.

*** you know, compared to my office chair which is actually a balance ball.

**** bonus points for anyone who appreciates this reference. please leave a comment.

*****more on this drama very,very soon.

last minute wedding invitation

2010-09-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

I'm still not sure if I can go because today is G's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY G! - and we might be trying to do a little birthday party thing on Saturday but, we got invited to a wedding that takes place on Saturday. My MOH's sister is getting married, so I don't feel a bit weird about a last minute invitation. The only concern I have is:
what the heck am I going to wear???
I've gained a little bit of weight since my own wedding and the dress that I would wear (the first wedding dress I bought) probably won't fit. I wore it on our honeymoon but with all that coconut milk and rum, I gained a few pounds, like, instantly. It wasn't quite as comfortable as it was when I first tried it on.
I know I have another wedding coming up too, but I put off caring about what to wear (I'd rather not go but that's another story completely). Anyway. I'm thinking about getting some spanx or something. If only I could just put on this little Paul Smith number...

{Paul Smith via this is glamourous}

footstool

2010-08-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

I took the day off yesterday. I got to spend it with my G who has Mondays instead of Sunday's off. Let me just say that it is subtly obnoxious to have only one day off with my man. Sometimes I think that if we had two whole days off together we might run away more often, but I've given up dreaming about that kind of thing. Every little adventure has to be preplanned and we aren't planners. We're terrible at it. We like to do all kinds of adventurous things in theory, hiking, I might even bike, but that involves planning and getting up before 10 on a "weekend" day.

{via d*s}

Anyway, part of my lovely yesterday was super productive. I finished designing and ordered my thank you notes so that we can thank our lovely wedding guests for their generosity (I know, I know, really really late! perfectionism paralysis). I'll post pics as soon as I get them mailed out. before that I got to hang out in G's office and read a magazine while I drank my coffee. All the while I stared at the well-worn, well-stained ottoman that I got for free ages ago. It would be fine if I just put a cover on it. And then I saw this post on design*sponge. maybe it's just that Grace puts out so much content eventually it will hit me at just the right moment, but this one hit me at just the right moment. once our roommate moves out finally (although we haven't seen him in three weeks... is it me?*), I can set up my sewing machine and not have to take over the dining room. woo hoo! I'm going to recover that ottoman. Small project I know, but one that needs to be done.
Are you putting off the projects that you want to do?

* I think it's me.

cobbler v crumble, part 1

2010-08-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

{via orangette}

I had plans. they were big. they were thoughtful. and in my head they were well thought out, well researched. well. but. wrenches were thrown in the works. and then, I stopped procrastinating on one of my big things. like really big. and it made me anxious and scared and then worried and then relieved and it's only just begun. but. it has finally begun. which left me a little out of here. but tonight, on the verge of my three day weekend (woo hoo!) I will be making cobbler (and orangette just posted about cobbler too so I guess it's meant to be). So here is to a long week finished with cobbler.* and probably wine.
happy friday!!!

* and then there will be a review of cobbler v. crumble, because long ago, before that orangette post, I started a post on it because Jasper asked me about it. me! and I was honored and did research.

** and Jes, you should come over because you deserve a lovely piece of cobbler.

alchemy

2010-08-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

I think I have mentioned before that I have a bag problem. G wonders why I need to have so many reusable bags. I'm trying to save the world! I argue. Okay, actually I have an irrational guilt issue and if I buy too many groceries or I forget to bring a bag (which so rarely happens anymore because my purse is filled with those tiny little envirosacs that tuck into a ball with no size or weight impingements) I end up buying another reusable bag. But just think of the swirling mass of plastic in the Pacific! Think of the dolphins and sea turtles and fishes!

Anyway, I have long coveted the Alchemy Goods bags from my local, Seattle designers who reuse cool things to make cool reusable bags. Yep, like this:

{alchemy bag via reuseit}

I haven't bought one so far because, well I have a lot of bags and they are a little pricey but, I got one on sale. So there.

* on sale!

to renu. a puzzle board

2010-08-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

too little too late?

{puzzle board via a cup of joe}

nesting

2010-08-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

we had a lot of trouble registering for gifts. our house is small, filled to the brim and we share it with a roommate. but soon, our roommate will be moving out. suddenly, I am able to nest like a proper newlywed but I am torn between paying more for rent and spending more on things I like. does it even out if we have a garage sale?

already, I bought this adorable little cappuccino set. it stacks so it saves space and it's cute so I don't mind having it on the counter. cute right?

{pt cappuccino set}

and here are just a few things I wouldn't mind having from CB2...

we need a new bed and G doesn't want any of the fake wood veneer from IKEA. perhaps the solution is metal? I think I'd want to see it in the store first though.

{CB2 alpine gunmetal bed}

and then I found this one which I like even better. especially with those side tables which I have been passively shopping for about two years.

{CB2 forte bed and proof nightstands}

I already know G and I both love these wall sconces:

{CB2 boxes wall sconces}

our wine rack is our roommates, so we'll need one of those...

{CB2 cellar wine rack}

wouldn't this rug be just lovely in my new office/sewing room?

{CB2 birdwalk rug}

a girl can dream can't she?

plastic bags, the mockumentary

2010-08-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

what did I say about plastic bag guilt?
{via Sightline}

it doesn't take that much effort to bring your own, much cuter bag to the store. it won't hurt a bit. I promise. even Neiman Marcus sells them.

summer isn't over yet - hopefully?

2010-08-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

on the heels of that not-so-great pic of me* with the quiche I just want to say that summer isn't over yet. and I could use another lovely AND flattering dress for the summer. something like this one that is no longer available. or one that can be worn with leggings and a cardigan for the eternal fall that is this lovely corner of the globe.

{talbots apparently via real simple}

* or maybe I just need to lose a few pounds.

hot quiche!

2010-08-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

On Monday evening, we had dinner for G's mom's birthday (mother-in-law has such strange connotations). G and I made some delicious vegetarian quiche, with my first real attempt at pie crust. I can't take all the credit because G and I worked together. Our little heat wave was still in effect (it's gone now and back to being overcast and cool - some summer) so we had to work that buttery dough fast to keep it cold. My mom, the pie expert, warns about overworking the dough anyway so, we did our best. My mom always uses lard for her pie crust, but that isn't a vegetarian option. So, we used a recipe out of the Gourmet cookbook which called for butter and a little vegetable shortening (we used vegan earth balance - none of that trans-fat crap) which I think resulted in a happy medium between flaky and crumbly. I can't wait to try this pie crust for a fruit pie. Quiche is tricky though, and the egg took a while to set. And in my unpredictable oven, I think the crust browned a little too quickly. I covered them with foil in order to prevent further browning but that didn't help the egg any. I think they turned out just fantastic. One quiche was asparagus, leek and balsamic sautéed mushrooms with english cheddar and the other was cherry tomato, leek and goat cheese. delish!

{we the happy quiche-makers*}

*this is not the most flattering pic. G's mom likes to take tons of pictures and I can't say that I looked terribly good in any of them. I may never wear that shirt again - I'm looking a little bloated. Did I mention it was also like 90 degrees?

I'm sorry, did I interrupt you? or aw snap!

2010-08-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Normally I don't blatantly repost like this, but I had to share what Meg posted this on A Practical Wedding this morning. I admit, I felt a little weird watching something from Fox news as I usually try to block out anything to do with evil social conservativism, but that is part of what makes this interview so perfect.

The good conversation is over at Meg's but feel free to leave comments provided they are not hateful.

I don't want to be pessimistic about my readers, but part of my recent drama has to do with dealing with a judgmental and hateful person who seems to believe she is helping the world with her bigotry. If I haven't stated my views plainly enough before, please note that I believe that same sex couples have the right to get married.

And if you want more, the long, unedited interview is over here.

for the husbands and husbands to be

2010-08-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

I admit it: I like action movies. and stupid comedies. sometimes more than good movies because when choosing entertainment, I like to laugh. I liked Kick Ass. I liked Wanted. I liked Iron Man (although Iron Man 2 was a huge disappointment - Jason Theroux, don't f@#$ up Zoolander 2). I have seen Zoolander too many times too count. I have seen Eurotrip too many times to count. I have seen Step Up 3D in the theater (my husband saw it twice). So when I see trailers like this one, I get excited.

I also own the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on dvd. If you don't like it, that's fine, but I have turned many naysayers to yaysayers with Buffy. Admit it, you want to see a girl kick some ass. It feels good. And your man, he probably likes it too.

an argument against my google reader, f@#$*ing dinner redux and thank you

2010-08-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

So. A while ago when I realized that google analytics doesn't pick up any data from people that read my blog in google reader, I all but abandoned my own google reader (despite it's convenience) and started clicking directly to the blogs that I love. If I wan't my stats up, I want your stats up. Naturally, I have all but forgotten about a few of the blogs that I love (I follow like 300 blogs, I just can't keep up), but now I get to see how pretty my friends blogs are and the other bits and pieces that line the posts with other extraneous loveliness (check out hindsight bride's gorgeous new design here and simply freckles new blogger here). I am also more likely to read the comments and comment because I'm already on the actual blog. This also reaffirms my sense of community with you lovely ladies (unless you are a man in which case you are welcome but know you are reading a girlie blog).

Despite my erratic posting schedule, I am also a whore for comments and emails, in case I haven't made my self clear previously. I can't think of a single time that I haven't smiled (a full, cheek-pulled, upturned lip corners, squinty-eye smile) when I have received a comment. I don't immediately respond in my own comments section and I don't always email back mainly because I tend to read my email on my crackberry which has proven to be detrimental (at this moment there are 1172 "new" messages in my Mac Mail inbox that I have actually read already. ugh.). okay I might be babbling a little here, but wait, don't go! where are you going?

okay, so in turning my back on my google reader (temporarily) I have started to adjust my blog accordingly. It has become my new google reader. I have added a few links on the side of my favorite daily reads, I have started (it's not finished yet) expanding and categorizing my link list, and I've added the whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com image and link. maybe it's just my inner twelve-year-old, but this site still makes me laugh and it often has some yummy sounding recipes which then inspire me to make something for dinner. even if it isn't what they suggested. the fact of the matter is, the martha food recipe database takes too, ehem, f@#$ing long to load (please take note martha's web people) because it launches so many videos and flash animations (just getting the link for above launched a little guitar song accompanied food video and some salad bowls rolling across the damned screen). I get the little hourglass for an actual hour when I do a recipe search and I don't even have that slow an internet!!! we don't all have T1 lines people!

but I digress. my point is I've kind of turned my blog into a link list and collection of random things I like for myself because now that I'm nearly a year married, I don't so much write about the wedding stuff. go figure. but I still like stuff. and I think you like stuff too. so I'm sharing my cool stuff with you, if you want to read about it. so, if you read my blog - thank you. and if you read my blog in a reader - thank you. and if you read my blog via subscribing by email - thank you (do any of you actually do that? I don't even know if it works). but if you read my blog in a reader, please occasionally click over, and comment too. it won't hurt a bit. or email me. I'd love to hear from you and type you a short, possibly misspelled reply with my thumbs (see crackberry). we are a community after all (thanks for reminding me Jes!)!

Now, who wants some f@#ing dinner?

{cafe press f@#$ing dinner store}

p.s. I also recommend the control click or the apple click to open a new tab in your window so that you can read the link that I've sent you to AND comment almost simultaneously. although right now i have a total of 25 tabs open. hmm. love you guys!
xo,
sera

at last the ordeal was over

2010-08-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

today is a day of anxiety, procrastination, lack of focus, irritation and stupidity. hooray! and since I have come up with so few intelligent words to share with you, other than mutterings of stupid frustration, I leave you with this:

{image by stella marrs via buyolympia.com}

this is for Lyn over at another damn wedding, which if you aren't reading it yet, you should be.
Lyn, soon you will get to remove your hair thing-y, whatever it ends up being and it will be over. only you'll be smiling and laughing too.

fitzgerald

2010-08-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

There is just something fantastic about reading from a beautifully bound work of art. Maybe it's not as convenient as an iPad or a Kindle, and probably more expensive, but I like the feel and smell of paper between my fingers as I turn the pages. And when I'm not turning the pages of that particular book, I like the look of them lined up on our five bookshelves. Admittedly, my G has a bigger collection of attractive hardcovers although many of them are science fiction replete with cheesy book jackets. Perhaps that's part of why he prefers the hard cover - strip off that jacket and it looks like a regular cloth bound book. My contributions to our collection mostly consist of "literary" paperbacks. But, that copy of Pride and Prejudice that I'm reading - it's one of those new Penguin classics with the vintage cover designed by Coralie Bickford-Smith. And she has a new collection of F.Scott Fitzgerald books to add to my collection. I just have to keep the drool from staining the books. Now, if she would just do a version of E.M. Forester's A Room With A View. Please? I love that book and only one copy (mine) I've ever seen has the Italian translations in the back. Anyway, how much do you love these?

{F. Scott Fitzgerald collection via coco + kelley}

something girly

2010-08-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

in the last month I cajoled my G into watching the BBC Pride and Prejudice mini-series and in the last week into following it up with the Joe Wright Pride & Prejudice film (the one with Keira Knightley). I had already seen the Keira Knightley version somewhat recently and had been charmed by the gorgeous countryside and general, you know, girlieness of it. Ah romance. Naturally, after imposing the overacted but more book inclusive miniseries on my man, I wanted him to compare it to the movie along with me. And now that I have and we both agree that the movie is better despite the plot missteps, I'm reading the book. Actually, as per usual, I'm reading three books right now. Ms. Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Dan Savage's The Commitment, and Eat Pray Love (Belinda don't judge me!). I guess I treat books a little like tv - I like to watch more than one show and still come back to it.

The last couple of weeks has been a true test of my nature. I tend to be a very passive person, non-confrontational, and consequently I don't let things that bother me go terribly easily. After a truly stunning unleashing of some very repressed anger, the sense of relief I am experiencing still, two weeks later, is amazing. Elating. I feel fantastic. And I have felt this way for most of the last two weeks. I'm starting to think, it's possible that there is value in fight club. I admit, it might be a little sick. Sometimes a good cry isn't enough.

Two of my friends sent me this on the same day and I'm simply delighted to contribute to the viral nature of this damned hilarious statement on feminism.

how does your garden grow? part 1

2010-08-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

hello loves, sorry to have been gone so long. these last two weeks have been filled with craziness and drama and elation in just downright bizarre ways. I have tons to share, but first I'll start with green thoughts. my garden has been successful in some ways and less so in others but if there is one thing I love it's herbs. herbs in my salad, herbs in my cooking, herbs just cause they're pretty - my sage has sprouted some lovely purple flowers which I suppose you can eat and I just bought an ornamental oregano that looks like pink hops! (pictures later).

but no matter how successful my garden is now, in August, I know that winter is coming and that I'll still want some herbs. rosemary and thyme are usually pretty available all year round here, but basil and parsley? not so much. so, I might have to figure out where to hang one of these lovely pieces.

{woolly pocket}

{woolly pocket black wally}

* of course I first saw it on coco kelley

your'e a towel!

2010-07-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

In my house, we use tea towels and linen napkins instead of paper (unless we're eating something ultra messy like pulled pork - which is, like, never). Even outside when we bbq, we drag out the linen and the real plates and the real glasses because, really, why would I be more likely to break stuff outside than inside. In fact, when stuff gets broken outside, it's technically already dirty out there, so whatever.

The only problem is that our roommate doesn't always wash his hands before wiping Sriracha all over the kitchen dishtowels. I have several that are beyond bleachable. So far, I have not dared upgrade from the good ol' IKEA towels and black restaurant supply napkins. Maybe someday I will be able to have and even use a $22 dishtowel (although on principal I'm not sure I should.) In the meantime, I will have to dream...

{studiopatro via design*sponge}

{ferm living velo via velocity}

{olli & lime via velocity}

{kauniste via d*s}

apricot raspberry almond crumble

2010-07-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

I am not a big baker. At least not yet. I don't have much of a sweet tooth instead choosing to spend my calories on cheese. Oh delicious cheese. brie, camembert, valedon blue, gorgonzola, english cheddar, bufala mozzarella... mmm....

So, when I decide to make dessert, ehem, want to, am hungry for, suddenly decide I want to bake, I usually crave something fruity like pie or crumble. I believe I've mentioned before my continued hesitation to make pie crust (mom, I think I need a lesson and one of those plastic pie sheet things now) so my solution is the always the fail-safe crumble. I went crazy over the winter making apple cranberry crumbles, because that combination is just delicious. But since my desire to eat less wheat, I have toyed with the alternative flours with little success - until now.

Last weekend, charged with making dessert and inspired by a couple of Aran of Cannelle et Vanille's recipes, I headed to the farmers market to buy some lovely fruit for a crumble. Here in Seattle, apricots and raspberries are in their prime and sounded like a lovely combination with almonds.

When I got home, despite having inspirations from Cannelle et Vanille and Gluten-free Girl, their recipe's were not exactly what I was looking for and had the added difficulty of being measured by weight (I know, I know, I should convert to a kitchen scale, but I haven't yet, so there). So, I sat down and wrote a nice forgiving crumble recipe. I guess I just felt I was ready to.

Maybe it was the farmer's market fresh fruit, maybe it was just a fluke, but what I came up with was perhaps the best crumble I have ever made.

{delicious bubbling goodness}

Here, I humbly offer you my recipe for gluten-free apricot raspberry crumble. And none of the five people that ate it had any idea that it was gluten-free and everyone was satisfied.

Apricot Raspberry Crumble (gluten-free)

For filling:
2 cups sliced apricots (about 10 small fruit)
2 pints raspberries
1/4 cup sugar
1 vanilla bean scraped
2 TBSP lemon juice
2 TBSP brown rice flour

For topping:
1/3 cup almond flour
1/4 cup oat flour
1/2 cup brown rice flour
2/3 cup rolled oats
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup chopped almonds
6 TBSP butter (room temperature cut into small pieces.)

In one bowl, toss filling ingredients together and pour into a buttered 9" square casserole. In another bowl mix together dry topping ingredients then add the butter. I have tried several ways of mixing the butter into the dry ingredients and by far the best I have come up with is to use your hands. So squish the butter into the dry mix until it creates bigger crumbles. Spread evenly over the fruit. Bake for 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees. If the top starts to brown too quickly, cover with aluminum foil. Allow to cool at least ten minutes before devouring - if you can!

{all pictures by yours truly!}

summer interior

2010-07-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

so, I love coco + kelly. she posts amazing interiors and works for anthropologie which is just about enough to love her and be super jealous of her. but every summer I look drearily at my living room and think, yep, this is a winter room. our small living room is filled to the brim with bookshelves (2 metal barristers one mammoth black ikea number), a large tv and two brown couches (one cloth (mine), one leather(his)) and to top it off, a lovely hand-me-down, wool indian rug (beautiful, but dark). So while I pine away for a little more space, maybe some new pillows (that G will throw off the couch - why do men hate pillows?) and a sisal rug to brighten up the place, I do nothing. Still I am struck with the dreamy, seaside, beauty of these spaces...

{coco + kelly}

and then it hits me. he hates pillows, but how could he hate that a little lightweight throw? when i saw this picture, I just knew that I needed a linen or cotton throw to make those two dark brown couches look a little less depressing in the summertime:

{coco + kelly}

But where to get such a lovely little thing without breaking the bank? Et voila! Design*Sponge posted this lovely little day at the beach product guide and so, I ordered this:

{steven alan via d*s}

the only trouble is you don't get to pick out your color. I'm sure it will match our living room's vintage tour de france posters just lovely. don't you think?

polka dot

2010-07-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

so. this is how it works out with me. I had half a post written for you for today but then, just as I'm thinking I should post it, I was reminded that today is Bastille Day. Actually, I knew it was Bastille Day but just like many things of late, it didn't register with me until I saw this glorious Amelie post on Hindsight Bride. Ah, Amelie. And I just saw the new Jean-Pierre Jeunet film on Monday. It was tres bien, mais pas d'Amelie (feel free to correct my francais. c'est tres terrible).

Anyway, I knew it was Bastille Day because instead of blogging, I have been watching le tour de france. G got cable for the first time in 10 years because he wanted to watch it, so we've been recording it on the dvr. And the thing is, it only stays interesting if I watch every stage because otherwise, I forget who the important players are (my friend Sally would be shaking his head right now. but then he'd smile and say, "it's okay darlin'! I'm just glad you're watchin'"! and then he'd give me a hug. cyclists can be so nice). Anyway, G keeps telling me he loves me because I stayed up until 12:30 am last night watching two recorded stages of the tour with him. check. here is my official Bastille Day Tour de France highlight:

{the 2010 polka dot jersey podium girl dresses via versus}

Wearing a dress like that would be the closest I could ever come to cycling up one of those grueling French mountain stages. Don't you just want your own??? I just won't sit down in it.

* @ Sarah - Hooray for Andy Shleck!
* @ Christie - ooh - Delicatessen! MicMacs is good and absolutely worth seeing, but not as good as either Delicatessen or Amelie.
* @ apalershadeofwhite - you can use a reader on a smartphone???? can I get that for my getto crackberry?

do something that scares you

2010-07-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

{tobyotter via hat & feathers}

Lately, I've been drinking out of this water bottle that a friend of mine abandoned at my house ages ago. It's a lululemon bottle and it has all of these motivational sayings on it, like: sweat once a day, life is full of setbacks, friends are more important than money, etc. And then there is the one that says:

Do one thing a day that scares you.

Does anyone know how to do that?
Does anyone have any flying instructions?

I think I need to spend more time on woodennickel.

and now for something positive...

2010-07-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

found via wooden nickle
(yeah, that's right, comment and/or begin following my blog and I'll end up on your's.)

p.s. I think I'm preparing for a giveaway soon, would anyone be into that?

crackdevices...

2010-07-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

{apple ipad}

last night I got into bed and planned on reading, but instead, I ended up setting up twitter and then trying to read blogs on my crackberry. yes I have a twitter, but I haven't enabled following here on the blog because I haven't stumbled into the wave of the future that allows me to cross my blog posts with my facebook posts with my tweets. And if someone wants to just lay out specific instructions on how to do this, I would be thrilled because really, the research to do that, something that I don't entirely care about, too much work. have you noticed how much I've been blogging lately? yeah, that's right. I'm married now and I'm lazy. I think cupcake said it best - while I still want to blog, I'm boring the pants off of myself, so I don't really know why you're reading right now.
anyway, after all that painful squinting and scrolling through blogs that I couldn't even really see the pics on, I thought, fleetingly, maybe I need an ipad.
you see, when G asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I drew a total blank. things like patio umbrella, he eschewed because that was really for "us" not just me. okay, I can't argue with a gift for "me." So I said, a new apple. my current macbook is now entering the four year old mark and it has gotten a bit over taxed with my deep disorganization of music and photos. So I started drooling at the thought of a new apple and then, just like that, I chickened out. do I really want a new macbook pro ($1799 ouch) or do I really want a new desktop apple so I can see what I'm doing when I do design work (when I think I'm going to do design work, or like, install twitter on my blog - right) or should I get a new macbook and a nice monitor I could plug it into... um the price just goes up and up. so for my birthday, G gave me permission to buy a new apple as soon as I make up my damned mind to do so. did I mention I don't make that much money? did I mention that our roommate will be moving out by September sometime and we should be saving to buy a house?
blah. so, what do you think? new macbook? new imac? new ipad? new droid or wait for verizon to finally start carrying iphone? stop being such a greedy bitch*?

*be nice now...

summertime soundtrack

2010-07-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

Inspired by hat and feathers dreamy little tune, I finally tried to use pandora at work. Despite wacky connection speeds at the workplace, my co-worker swears by it, and now I'm hooked. You too can listen to my hat & feathers radio station. It hasn't disappointed me yet. And then I got this song stuck in my head. It seems like a perfect addition to the summer soundtrack, don't you think?

What's on your summer soundtrack?

tart as plums

2010-07-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

Last year, our landlord took it upon himself to plant a peach tree and a plum tree in our front yard. super pretty, all we had to do was water them. and lo and behold the little saplings are bearing fruit! we had to rig stakes with a mess of twine to keep the plum tree's branches from bending to the ground, it was so heavy with fruit. In the last week a couple tumbled from the tree, so I plucked a big bowl full of small but ready plums. It was good timing too because suddenly the leaves started to get all wilted and I had to douse the poor thing in a stream of water. It has rained and been so nasty for so long I couldn't imagine that the ground wasn't saturated but...
Anyway, the bounty of plums were pretty small and a bit tart which someone I know said is what the first year of fruit brings. But I didn't let that stop me from making this rosemary plum crisp from canelle et vanille.

{cannelle et vanille}

It was delicious. But in typical me fashion, here are my notes on what went wrong with my rosemary plum crisp:

In the future, I would use truly good fruit. My tree just isn't producing the sweetest fruit yet. By acquiring farmers market plums, the slices would also be larger.
I'd use a better lemon for the zest, and I need to buy a zester because a cheese microplane is not the same thing. I didn't really get the zest I was looking for.
I actually thought that there was too much butter when I melted the full 1/2 cup - I only used 1/4 cup but it could have handled a little more. I have made this mistake before with crisps. butter equals crispety goodness.

But as always, I'm excited to make something gluten-free that is tasty! Have you tried anything new lately?

(But now I feel a little guilty that I promised some plums to my elderly neighbor and didn't save enough. Perhaps I'll go to the farmer's market for more plums.)

bumbershoot

2010-06-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's cloudy again in dear old seattle, but now that it's "summer" it's nearly warm enough to sit out side regardless of the weather. I've been telling G that we need an umbrella for when it finally gets sunny. But theoretically, it would double as something to sit under for when it's sprinkling, you know, because it's an umbrella. I've been thinking about this one from west elm:

{west elm}

Although I'm not sure I want to pay shipping on a 60 lb umbrella stand since we don't have the table as an anchor. Anyone have any suggestions as to where to get a reasonably priced patio umbrella?

Because I'm certain all I need is an umbrella to look like this:

{bits of beauty}

shoe update

2010-06-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

When I let my cat go outside, she stays pretty close to home because she's the epitome of scaredy-cat. Not only is she afraid of most people if they aren't G or me, she's incredibly territorial when she sees another cat and begins yowling and hissing and emitting sounds as if she's being mutilated. When this happens and she's outside, one of us has to run out and scare the offending cat away while my little black terror runs back inside to hide in our basement bedroom. In fact, she gets so spitting mad when she sees other cats that sometimes she is afraid of her own reflection in the dark and wakes us up to kitty death sounds. Unfortunately, we have fully mirrored closet doors so there is no avoiding her seeing her own reflection. Oh, my adorable, stupid cat.

But when I do let her go outside, she usually eats a bunch of super tasty lawn which inevitably upsets her stomach until she runs into the house and pukes up a little gooey green clump. Because god forbid she do that outside too.

This morning I looked down at one of my rattier old pairs of black ballet flats and thought what the heck is that stain on the insole? Upon further inspection, I realized the second shoe was filled with a gooey green clump. My beloved, stupid little cat puked in not one, but two, separate shoes but missed the carpet completely. How thoughtful of her.

Because I got two requests for a review, the Toms are actually much more comfortable than most of the pairs of ballet flats that I own. They have more sole, a reasonably supportive insole and cover more of my foot so they are less likely to fall off my feet while say bounding outside to scare away a neighbor cat. They even have room to accommodate my obnoxiously high arches that are often times hard to fit. I do recommend Toms for both the giving nature of the company and the comfort. I also received two complements on them by middle aged women in my office. They liked the flashy orange.

don't over think it

2010-06-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

Often when I stumble on something truly amazing, it is because I am struck by its simplicity. For example, months ago I clipped out a picture of an obi belt from Vogue (not pictured). Maybe because I wasn't yet fully convinced by the wide belted waist trend yet and this was my turning point, my subtle convincing (add an Asian inspired twist to just about anything and my mouth starts watering (mmm sushi)), but I suddenly became enamored with this obi belt. Of course being in Vogue it was probably Versace or Prada or Miu Miu or something making it like a million dollars. But I clipped it thinking, oh yeah, I can totally make this. But, like many things, I did not even attempt to make the belt. I thought about it a lot. I realized that I should buy some interfacing at the fabric store. I thought about the length, sketched it out, considered how to make it cross just right at the small of my back without being a big jumbled knot, and then, just like that, I dropped it. If fell to the back of my brain, to the bottom of the list, swimming in the ocean of things I want to do eventually. Along with make Sandy a la Mode's prada knockoff.

Thinking I'll never get around to it, I considered purchasing this anthropologie obi belt, but in person, it was way too cammo green for me. I've got nothing to wear it with.

Then today I saw this one, which is still not really the color I'd go for, but lovelies, the simplicity of the crossover on the back is like an epiphany.

{need supply co.}

{divine backing...}

Sometimes I feel like the universe it throwing things at me, screaming DO SOMETHING AWESOME!
Yeah, we'll see...

how often do you see this twice in one day?

2010-06-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

first:

{the potential september/october cover for natural health magazine}

second:

{photo by ellen von unwerth via life according to celia}

too far?

2010-06-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

{toms orange linen classics}

All right, so after a month of hmming and haaing over those Toms shoes that are so awesome because they donate a pair of shoes to a needy child when you buy a pair, I caved and bought a pair of Orange Linen ones. I originally thought they were kinda ugly. And, well, they are kinda ugly, even a little grandma, but they're kinda ugly in a cute way, right? (Please tell me I'm not turning into a hipster.) The main problem is that they sell them at Whole Foods and I go to Whole Foods often for, you know, food. I have for the most part been able to make the sign of the cross to the vampiric gifty sections and bakery sections and le crueset sections. I only buy some cheese and a lot of 365 brand organics and bulk flours, etc. But after days and days of walking by the end-cap that held the rotating stock of these Toms, I finally had a co-shopper, my mom, there to say, yes they are cute. Usually, by myself, I'm just indecisive enough to wuss out and not buy things, but in this instance all I needed was a nod of the head and off I was to the cash register holding a pair of orange linen slippers. And today was a casual day at work, so, yep, wore them to work. About mid-morning I caught a glimpse of myself in the restroom mirror and thought, well, not so much. Maybe with a skirt, maybe just out in the garden or to the beach or something, but with jeans at the office? I think I'd need to buy a pair of the wedges.

{red stripe calypso wedges}

Oh god, I do not need another pair of shoes!!! or do I...

Am I a sucker if everything I buy supports a good cause? Tom, can I have a job?

p.s. I'm now starting to feel a little better because celia has a photo of them in her new header.

poof!

2010-06-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

{some kind of style}

after reading Christie's post (Hindsight Bride) about dress preservation, I'm all thinking I need to come up with an occasion to wear my poofster wedding dress. Or at the very least, make another dress and wear that. I mean, you know how much I love the poof.

system failure

2010-06-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

it's friday and I'm feeling the system failure. today, I don't love being a girl if you know what I mean...

{hyperbole and a half via life according to celia}

It is necessary for you to go to hyperbole and a half now to read the full post of the above graph. Don't worry, it's pictorial.

another year older

2010-06-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

and deeper in...

{valkyrieh116 via a.practical.wedding}

so I turned, ehem, 34 on monday. these pesky birthdays make me reflect about all kinds of things that normally just, irritate me. what have I done so far, what haven't I done so far, where am I going, what am I doing, bla, bla, bla.

but.

I graduated from college (yay Mills!), I got married to my lovely lovely man (but I think you may already know that), and my horoscope says that I'm on the verge of what I have been looking for... I am starting to feel hopeful even.

all in all, it was a good day, and a good weekend, although busy, because I attended a lovely bachelorette party wine tasting, celebrated father's day with G's dad, and then spent a lovely relaxing day mostly in a hammock before heading off to a super fun, darn tasty dinner at art of the table (unfortunately this place is teensy tiny and I couldn't invite all of the friends who apparently wanted to help me celebrate, so I think I'm going to do birthday redux this weekend with a bbq and...)

CAKE!

I didn't get a birthday cake. which doesn't really bother me so much, except that I like cake sometimes, and it's my birthday, so. this weekend, cake.

my friend liana says that it really should be birthday week anyways.

so, what kind of birthday cake should I have????

note to self...

2010-06-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

today I acknowledged once again that I am a perfectionist to a massive fault and need to learn to become an imperfectionsist

and I am also a flake and if I can sit down and take this advice to heart, maybe my life will be better.

{Miss Aniela via prosecco and lemonade}

can someone kick me in the ass? please?

on "literature"

2010-06-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

ehem. Have I ever mentioned I have a problem with the amount of magazines I subscribe to? My husband hates it. I subscribe (because it's the best way to support the magazine publishing industry, and they cost waaaaaaaay less that way), they arrive in the mail and, yep, there they are. A literal pile of to do. It's a fun to do list, but I admit, I don't get around to reading them as fast as I might like. And then there is the whole recycling aspect. Usually I bring them to work and leave them in our break room for others to enjoy, but I admit, I have trouble keeping up. It's the same way with my email. I subscribe to the emails that I want to receive, but then the emails from jcrew, martha stewart, ideeli, ready made, bhg, fill up my inbox and I just don't quite get to them. But I don't want to stop getting them. ridiculous. If I could spend my days digging around in my email, reading magazine and blogs, I think I could be thoroughly entertained for the rest of my life. My butt might get tired but it already gets tired at work so, yeah. Anyway. It keeps getting worse. I admit to recently renewing my subscription to whole living, ready made and, freshly subscribing to... better homes and gardens. Here is where I realize that I am beyond the beginning, I have become old.

{bhg weddings}

If you look at the advertising, one might believe the average reader of BHG is somewhere around 55+, but the content is actually pretty modern. In fact, they even have a blog. And while Martha Stewart and Real Simple are constantly trying to attack me with damnable flash ads and auto-starting videos that bog down my interweb surfing speed, BHG does not. And I don't think I have ever seen a garden plan on Martha or RS either - genius. And, see that lovely little centerpiece there? Yeah, I posted something similar twice and ages ago when I was pining away for this perfect rehearsal dinner. I just love love love this kind of collection of single flowers in multiple vases. So when I was digging around on BHG, I noticed that they have quite the little wedding section and newsletter, filled with actually tangible pretties and crafts. I do love Martha but sometimes, I just can't take her hamptons lifestyle. My budget can't compete. Now I understand why the grandmas of America subscribe to this lovely little magazine.

(this was not meant to sound like an ad, I am simply sharing with you my need to subscribe to several hundred magazines - sorry G.)

orange?

2010-06-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

by the way, I temporarily switched to this sunny orange blog design in order to boost my mood in this STILL cloudy, rainy, depressing winter of june that us northwesterners are experiencing.

please vote yeah or nay on whether I should keep the orange.

I'll get busy editing the code so that it all syncs up, or trash it and design something new. at some point.

yum.

2010-06-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

{thekitchn}

Today has been a wheat day. It started with a slight hangover and a deep desire for an egg sandwich from Starbucks. Oh english muffin, how I love thee. Next, as my co-worker and I headed out to just get some nice innocent soup, we walked out to the corner and found a new dessert truck (I have no name for you yet, so hold for an update when they come back next Thursday). I bought an uber-delish Macrina roll to go with my soup. And then hello High-5 apple hand pie and dessert-truck baker special carrot cake cookie sandwich with cream cheese filling. No I didn't eat them all at once. (I meant to eat a nice light lunch because today is my friend Jason's birthday (happy birthday, Jase!) and for dinner we will be eating a ton of amazing food at Spinasse. oh well.)

Even though I'm eating wheat some of the time, I'm still trying to lay off for the most part which is why I was delighted to have this this Kitchn recipe for vegan and gluten-free chocolate cupcakes with coconut icing arrive in my inbox today. You know how I feel about the coconut. And this recipe only calls for two flours instead of say 25 or so like normal gluten-free recipes. So, I might be making these soon. Let me know if you decide to.

and for more food fun, see the seven year itch. (muahahahahahahahaha)

the story of my life

2010-06-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

{real simple daily thoughts}

Last week, this little tidbit dropped into my inbox at work and I started a post on it, but these last few weeks have been truly crazy. When I haven't been sitting in front of a computer slaving away on actual work taking longer hours than usual, I have wanted so desperately to get as far away from a computer as humanly possible. And once again, there is a hole developing where I miss this bit of my life. Anyway, in between travel, I have been furiously typing away on my blackberry (not my favorite way to communicate with people) with my new blogger bestie Christie from Hindsight Bride. She read my guest post on A.Mountain.Bride on perfectionism paralysis and, well, it was kismet. We are both stricken by this most ridiculous problem, but at least we can launch our own support group, provided we figure out how to perfect it before we start. Anyways. If you haven't already, check out Hindsight Bride and she has her guest post while newlywedded Jes travels across the country with her Tommy.

And damn if I don't miss you all...

my first pie crust

2010-06-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

My mom is the ultimate pie master. I know, everyone says that, but, she could make pie better than anyone, including my grandma. That was the one thing, that when it came to cooking an elaborate meal, my grandma would say, no, Anita is making the pie. Although, I have watched my mom make pie hundreds of times (we didn't have pie all the time - mainly holidays), I still had never made pie crust before. Until last night. It's hard to live in the shadow of the best.

Of course, as you know, I have been having a bit of trouble with my diet lately. And while I am lucky to not have to be completely without wheat, this last week of eating it has proven to be, well, maybe not the greatest idea. Although it could have been a couple of other factors too. Major work stress, running out of one of the "good bacteria" supplements that I take, running out of much of the "good food" that I have been trying so hard to eat, lack of exercise, bla bla bladibla bla. I need to treat myself better. Anyway. When I make my own meals, I'm still trying to go for no wheat, which generally translates to gluten-free. But I have been ultra-uninspired of late to cook my mushy brown rice pasta (yes, it is mushy. It's not done, not done, not done, mushy. and it disintegrates in cheese sauce. quinoa pasta is much better, but more expensive and they don't have it at trader joe's). The fact is, I need new inspiration.

{quiche by me}

Yesterday, I got totally inspired to make quiche. I love quiche but, having a wheat crust, I can't buy it anywhere (or at least I shouldn't). So even though I grew up with my mom's all-purpose flour and lard pie crust (divine!) I went for gluten free flour and butter crust. I kind of figured, if it wasn't as good as my mom's I could blame it on the flour. And, the crust, was not as good as my mom's. Despite finding lovely recipes for gluten-free pie crust both on whole foods website and the gluten-free girl, I bailed on the multi-flour recipes and tried using Bob's Red Mill All Purpose gluten-free in a Mark Bittman recipe (because it had an egg in it which is supposed to be better with quiche). While the quiche insides turned out quite tasty, the crust was a flop.

Today reading more of gluten free girl's blog, she said that she makes an all purpose flour that doesn't include bean flour, that could have been part of it. I also think I over pre-baked it. And I may have over-worked it initially. Eh. Whatever. The quiche was still super delicious. I made one with asparagus, ham, leeks and english cheddar (the most popular) and one with roasted cherry tomatoes, fresh basil, leeks and gouda parmesan. And it only took my unskilled self, like, three hours. And I made a huge mess in what now seems like an even tinier kitchen than before.

But, despite the part where I was swearing when rolling out the pie crust and having it break apart, I love cooking. I love cooking for friends who love to eat. It was all worth it. So, I'd better get inspired to make more stuff. (Although if I have to get a food scale just to follow the recipes on gluten-free girl and cannelle et vanille... grr.)

paint it orange

2010-06-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

I've been a long time but erratic reader of good ol' design*sponge. And for a long time I got really bored with the same content over and over again - someone's 1920's apartment with high ceilings and authentic details, mildly redone in their mid-century modern aesthetic and self-made art. All things I love, but there are only so many I can take before I think, hmm, maybe I should just take pictures of my bedroom and see if she'll post them. Oh, wait, I'll have to clean up my crap first. But, in the last year, d*s has perked up a lot, and while I hate to repost from the big blogs, there's been some off-the-hook stuff.

This kitchen in particular reminds me of my friend Jase's, if he had double the size and room for a large table and, is that a washer??? Nice. So Jase, if you are reading this (because he rarely reads my blog) I think we should paint your kitchen orangey-yellow... And it will make it seem like there is actually sun in this damned depressing ville where we live. (Yeah, yeah, I know the rain makes it green in Seattle, but enough is enough! My veggies are stunted and if I don't get some sunshine in my face soon, I'll just stop getting out of bed.)

{color collective on design*sponge}

breaking away

2010-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, my lovely friend Jes of A.Mountain.Bride got married on her mountain top. I spent the weekend sending her blessings from somewhere other than the blogosphere. On Sunday, I read the readings from her wedding and, honestly, I am at a loss for words. I got nothin'.

However, before she left for her weeks of bliss, Jes asked me to share some of my wedding on her blog. Naturally, I was honored. Today, you can see a little of my wedding and a little of my dress over on A.Mountain.Bride. And later I suspect that I will be sharing a few more photos here, too.

Thanks Jes! I wish you and Tommy the best!

bad influence

2010-05-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

just five minutes of trolling the blogs and I end up buying shoes. you all are dangerous.

what lace and likes posted:

{seychelles via lace and likes}

what I bought:

{the seychelles that I bought on endless}

ampersand

2010-05-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, G and I decided to do something vaguely cultural by going to the Seattle Book & Paper Show. It wasn't exactly what I had expected. I was really looking forward to some book arts and perhaps some hand made papers, but what we found were stand after stand of expensive and rare books. Granted this is still pretty cool but we really aren't in the market for expensive collectibles. However, we did end up buying a couple of photos from Ampersand which is a gallery and vintage book and photo and ephemera store from Portland, Ore. While I can't share exactly what we purchased, I did dig around on their site and blog to present you with these:

Go, dig around, find something unusual and fantastic. We did. And I'm pretty sure we'll be stopping by next time we're in Portland. Ah the list grows longer and longer.

whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner

2010-05-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

{whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner}

go here to get some truly inspired suggestions when you just can't fucking decide what to make for dinner.

sunny on the inside

2010-05-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

This morning it was sunny AND warm when I left the house to go to work. I even convinced my G to ride his bike to work, because I knew he really wanted to.

By lunch, I was glad I knew I'd left a jacket in my car to wear while walking up the hill to get something. But now, at the end of the day, a storm has brought us wind and rain to remind us it's still only spring.

So, when I saw this lovely sunny pouf on design sponge, it made me smile. And it made me want to make one. I'll just pencil that in on the ol' project list.

{design*sponge}

I'm off pick up my G and his co-worker so they don't have to ride home in this mess...

the red chair

2010-05-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

Outside of my obsession with black and white stripes, I have been pining away for red chairs in my backyard. It started with a couple of red painted adirondack chairs I saw sitting on the deck of a real estate agency during our recent jaunt to Cannon Beach. Naturally I did not snap a picture of them. But with my pining, I keep thinking of all of these gorgeous little Parisienne pictures on little brown pen, convinced that I had also seen red bistro chairs there. When what I actually saw were the gorgeous and lovely pictures below, but that aren't the chairs in my head. Instead...

{little brown pen}

Imagine how I might have been confused with this one.
{little brown pen}

{little brown pen}

That's a bit more like what I had in mind...
{polly wreford via the haystack needle}

the red bistro chair

yep. something like that. or this:

{here}

anyways, I'm going outside. happy friday!!!!

i'm obsessed

2010-05-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

when will it end?

{urban outfitters - I'll take the shirt without the sullen expression. thank you.}

{black*eiffel}

{angela hardison via d*s}

{more hardison via d*s. not stripey but completely lovely}

pretty in blue

2010-05-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

{part of her 2010 lookbook via leannem.}

In our neighborhood, on a tree lined major arterial, there is a posh little wedding boutique that I have never set foot in. It's not for lack of bridal frocks modeled in the window, but when I was looking for a dress, I didn't want white and, I was afraid of going into any of these places. I was afraid they would convince me what I knew wasn't true - that I should wear a white gown. A strapless, floor-length, expensive, white gown.
Until I was engaged, I purposefully avoided window shopping that store and once engaged, I sneered at it's princess flounces. But now that it's all over and done with, when we drive by I stare earnestly at the three white gowns that dress the window. Often they are overly frilly, strapless and well, average-looking. But sometimes they are very pretty.

Yesterday, we were stopped at the light that allowed me to stare perfectly into the window and G noticed me looking at the dresses again.
That one is actually pretty, I said.
The one in the middle, yes. he said.
After a moment I asked, Are you still glad I wore blue?
Absolutely. It would have been weird otherwise. You wouldn't have looked like you.
And that's why I married him.

it's not easy being green

2010-05-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

{by me}

I have a weird guilt complex when it comes to being green.

First- I carry a reusable bag everywhere I go and feel so much guilt if I need another at a grocery that I either buy another one or put back some of the things I was planning on purchasing. (G can't stand it when I do this because we have so many reusable bags - but we don't have a ton of paper bags either).

Second- I buy all green cleaners (although I may not clean as often as I need to) going so far as to not purchase bleach. This means my white linens aren't so white anymore (if anyone has any solutions that actually work for this one, please share).

Third- when I am outside of my home, I drink my beverages out of reusable tumblers (my stainless keeps my tea nice and toasty at my desk for a long time too). I even harassed my G into getting one of those funny ceramic ones with the rubber top that look just like a paper cup. He chose one with a cute little bee design on it. ah bees (very good for the environment you know).

I could go into all the reasons why I'm not as green as I should be, but I don't see how that would be productive. Suffice it to say that today was not a green day. Despite how truly lovely and sunny it is today, in the interest of time, I piled into a car to go to lunch with my co-workers (this after, of course driving to work like I do everyday (so no I don't get credit for carpooling)). Strike one. But after lunch my pal Rich wanted to get a little something sweet, so we went to the closest coffee shop to the office so that he could purchase a ridiculously large chocolate milkshake. And what could I do, but get myself a little americano (the first coffee I've had in twelve days because I've been feeling so under-the-weather). But despite the no less than three reusable drink containers sitting idle on my desk, I did not have them with me. I received a doubled paper cup (10% post-consumer recycled fiber, but twice the cup to prevent my foolishness from burning myself) filled with delicious coffee. Strike two. And now that I have drank its contents, it sits here on my desk mocking me for my wastefulness. But I have a plan.

Tomorrow I am finally going to plant the starts you see above in my garden plot. The squirrels ate the seeds for my beans and zucchini, but they didn't touch the starts I'd already planted. Then spring turned and it got cold. Today it is finally spring-like and tomorrow promises to be another lovely sun-filled day, which I will at least partially fill with some gardening. I can finally drop my little starts into the earth where I know they'l like to be. As for the two paper cups that are mocking me from my desk - I was thinking I could reuse them to hold dirt and plants and then drop them into a prettier little pot. I know, I'm a nutcase.

If we owned the house we were living in, I'd make us build a green roof to top our garage. And if we lived in Portland, we'd get a tax credit.

for a longer list of my green shortcomings and general defaults, see my other blog - self-loathing saucer ( just kidding).

accountability (and risotto)

2010-05-06T17:37:00.001-07:00

{brown rice spring vegetable risotto from whole foods}

I've been obsessing a lot about food lately - a requirement when on an elimination diet. No, I'm not on a full elimination diet, because I know I'm good with certain foods, but the ones we're not so sure of are out. So, I ditched papaya (supplements and body creams), but because I was a bit sensitive to all citrus, all citrus is out for now. We knew I had a wheat and yeast sensitivity (beer, and they both appeared on the test too) those are out. These were the rules handed down on April 12. I have since broken them all a few times but as of April 24, I've been good. Except that I discovered this morning that there is lemon juice on the frozen peaches that I use every day. Citrus has been particularly hard because it's not a common allergen and it's in and on everything. It sneaks up on me. But, I have whipped limes out of my soda water and inspected oh so many ingredient lists. I passed cinco de mayo without a margarita or guacamole. I had no idea how much I pined for citrus-y things. I can't wait to start adding that back in. Technically I'm not allergic to gluten, so I don't have to hyper-sensitive about my wheat free stuff so that has been going better than I thought. But I've been cooking a lot more. Luckily, G is not too picky and has been incredibly supportive of my diet. Including the night it took me an hour of stirring to make Brown Rice Spring Vegetable Risotto. I must have been out of my mind. It was quite tasty, and I may in fact make brown rice risotto again, but not on a weeknight and not when I'm already hungry. Generally, I prefer mushroom risotto but I really liked the addition of asparagus in this dish. And it has very little cheese so it's a very healthy choice. But. A whole hour. Stirring. Over the stove. Anyways.

Since all of this began, I am working harder on scheduling and planning my meals (otherwise, I eat nuts at my desk for lunch, aka starvation). But, I'm still not doing very well. Despite my food obsession and with the addition of feeling generally ill (wheat reaction, sinus infection, etc.) I have done little or no physical activity in three weeks. Well, that stops tonight because I'm going to the gym to meet with a new personal trainer. again. Hopefully, she won't try to kill me. They usually do. But the real reason why I am telling you this: accountability. I am going to the gym. I'm not lying. Really. I'm on my way...

secret messages

2010-05-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

{indigo bunting on 100 layer cake}

did anyone else see this amazing locket diy over on 100 layer cake? um, yeah. love it. I just don't know where I'm going to get one of those amazing little globe lockets. this one was a vintage etsy. anyone?

{map envelope via black eiffel}

of course, there is always the much easier google envelope. enter your location of choice, customize your message, print, fold and send. wish I was there?

abby try again

2010-05-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

maybe it's my quiet mood, maybe it's because I'm longing for warmer weather, but I feel like I need new pretty things on the wall. so I just bought three prints from abby try again. I have been coveting her work for oh so long, but I could never decide which ones I wanted. In fact although I chose one of these three here, I had trouble deciding which ones I wanted to show you. so go, look.

and she's packing up and moving to texas so she is having a clearance sale going on until may 9. how could I possibly resist? can you?

{all photos abby try again also here and her lovely blog here}

in the beginning...

2010-05-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

there was prada.

{prada via style scientist}

{this is glamorous}

then sandy a la mode and her ladies made three lovely little prada inspired numbers from scratch (okay, I don't know if they were inspired by prada, but they look like prada to me). Just looking at it, I knew it would be a simple design, but now, I have no excuses (except all the usual ones I come up with...). Sandy put the instructions right on her blog. I definitely need to make a new frock.

{sandy a la mode original}

figs

2010-05-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

{figs}

Back when G and I were looking about for ties, I hunted a bit on-line by myself, but I knew, as picky as he is, that he would have his say in what he wore. In the end he bought a gorgeous tie that went beautifully with my dress. But, had I seen these first, I think we may have gone in a different direction. Not only are these some of the coolest ties I've ever seen, but for every tie purchase, FIGS gives a school uniform to a child in Africa in order for them to attend school. G doesn't wear ties on a day to day basis, but I may have to start finding some men who do. Or me. I think I may have to have one of those pure british woolen ties in pink. and did you see the one with the little bicycles? and hello, polka dots!

backyard

2010-05-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

{backyard wine label by fabien barral}

yep. told you.

call me.

2010-04-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

so, I'm sick again. again? yes, again. sick enough that I am having conversations with myself on my blog. that is, when I have the... not energy, but sitting-in-front-of-computer-itiveness to look at my blog. for thirty seconds. the real reason I am here babbling now is that I have an alumnae (I went to a womens college) event on sunday and it occured to me that I really do need a calling card. a personal calling card. but. how do I get calling cards by sunday? dilemma yet to be solved. my friend tells me that I should design my own, which, yes, I could, but did I mention that I'm sick again? and sapped of energy, creative or otherwise? yes. so.
anyways, I was looking at a bunch of super lovely calling cards on etsy which brings me to showing you how cute and inexpensive a personal calling card can be (until you hit the letterpress and then it's all over). and this just in a few moments on the etsy. if you have any suggestions for the most gorgeous of fabulous calling cards, please, tell me who. I do love looking at the paper art.

{posh girl boutique}

{almost sunday}

{pixel impress}

{vermilion star press}

okay, letterpress is way more expensive, but awfully nice...

{happy girl greetings}

I'm kinda in love with these. but with the bee graphic that she has on one of her note cards...

{oh smile}

but sent from hong kong.

{fabien barral via beast pieces}

letterpress again but an old favorite. a girl can dream can't she? and fabien barral's site is a place I could spend days. think his business card is nice? you haven't seen anything yet...

and then of course I could dream a little more and wish that mika 78 or indigo bunting would design me a calling card because I'm just so fantastic. the bees knees I tell you. the bees knees.

indoor/outdoor

2010-04-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

The days are getting longer and the sun keeps appearing with promise of better days to come, and yet Saturday the wind was so cold it would not let me forget about winter. I guess I just need an atrium...

{Juliet Notes}

{juliet notes}

with a lovely little table like this:

{deco-love}

unless I move somewhere warm...

{juliet notes}

or just wait for warm weather to come in a couple of months. I'm so busy yet so impatient...

{more deco love}

And then the only thing left is to figure out what to wear to my garden party...
and if my friends will make fun of me for being so, girly. anyone want to come over for a girly garden party? we can play croquet and eat tea sandwiches and macarons. or ceviche and sangria...

it's friday

2010-04-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

{dress, design & decor – a daily blog: champagne thursday...}

Is it too late for champagne?

it's never too late

2010-04-22T22:57:00.001-07:00

{i can read}

Pretty as a Posie giveaway winner!!!

2010-04-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

{Pretty As A Posie}

I apologize for the delay. The winner is...

Michelle @ Blissful Musings!!!

I'll be emailing you soon. I'm sure you'll love them!

Thanks to all of you who entered! I love you ladies!

And thanks so much to Kim of Pretty as a Posie. You do such lovely work!

on disappearances

2010-04-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

{via design*sponge}

today is the day I announce the winner of my Pretty as a Posie giveaway. I held it off for a week and then, completely disappeared. off the electronic map although I traced my progress on a map. If you are looking for the winner. see the next post. but first...

I'm too good at making dissatisfying excuses that make me feel worse, so I'm not going to give you one. I will say that I was oddly busy and quite distracted before I mimicked this ellipses. there were doctor's appointments, work, class and then friends (which is so nice to be reminded that I have), and I kept breathing in, waiting for the long weekend in Cannon Beach with my G. My head was spinning with things I was convinced I needed to finish before we took off on Friday and didn't get home until Monday, dreamy pictures of not-much to come. of course not everything got done, and worse, not everything needed doing. was I manufacturing the need to do these things to make me feel like I was needed? in the end it seemed that it was fine that things just fell away. I am back and things are still not done and... Yet again, people feed me full of information, projects and promises and don't come through. I am left waiting for information, feeling like a pest asking yet again for the promised information. did it ever even matter?

The strange dietary verdict is that I'm highly allergic to papaya (!?!?). I have been taking a papaya/pineapple digestive supplement 1-2 times a day for the last four years, apparently, poisoning myself. oops. This created a stressed digestive system and a sensitivity to wheat and yeast (I've known I'm allergic to beer for ages now). So in order to detox, I am supposed to cut out all citrus and most wheat for a month and see how I feel. But I went on vacation. So instead, we stopped in Portland at the St. Honore bakery, aka heaven, and stocked up on quiche and baguette sandwiches and croissants with bechemel. In Cannon Beach I ate pancakes and sandwiches and crackers with wine and cheese. now that I'm home, I'm starting the detox. And with the leaving and the homecoming and the back to normal came this feeling. a sort of sadness. I can't even put my finger on it. all I want is to curl up in the dark and avoid everything. Although these words seem plentiful now, I'm straining through writer's block. not just a lack of words but a reason to say them. do I sound whiney? because this is where I say I have no desire to whine. I'm just explaining. I don't even know why I'm explaining exactly. I have found that when I try to explain to live people, I am met with misunderstanding. blankness. perhaps I've made it worse. so here, I declare this to the ether. take it or leave it.

At the beach, when it rained I watched the sea curl towards the sand from our room. when it shined I felt the warm sand between my toes. but did it bring me peace? not exactly. it made me sad. I was disappointed in the book that I am reading, not because it isn't good but because I seem to be looking for Franny and Zooey. is it that I need a little hope along with my desolation? Is it just too much for me read about willed ignorance right now? Probably. I wanted to finish this book because it is one that my husband particularly likes. he is a voracious reader but mostly of sci-fi and fantasy lit. and next I'm supposed to read Harry Potter. sigh.

I'll post the winner of the giveaway later this evening. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.